the five stages of grief, as they pertain to love [good omens, michael/uriel]

two: anger, part three

She came to her conclusion a short time later: she hated Michael.

The realization hit her after her next meeting with Sandalphon and Gabriel, in which she was told to present the "research" she's promised to bring last time. Uriel had spent a solid hour before that meeting bullshitting an actual plan to present in order to get more humans on board with remaining loyal to Heaven, and the best part was, they loved it.

"Brilliant idea, Uriel!" Gabriel smiled at her approvingly. "I can tell you put a lot of effort into this. Wonderful job!"

Uriel smiled and hoped to someone he wouldn't realize that half the things she had to say she'd come up with on the fly.

"Why don't you bring Michael up here to discuss this with them as well?" Sandalphon suggested. "They're downstairs negotiating some contract with Lord Beelzebub. I think they'd want to hear about this as well."

The mention of Michael made Uriel feel tense. "Of course," She tried to maintain her calm exterior. "I'll be back within fifteen minutes."

The passage between Heaven and Hell is a lot shorter than most people would assume. All it takes to get there from Heaven is heading down a few flights of stairs, then an elevator ride down to the lowest possible basement level there is. Uriel made the trip with minimal issue, the only unusual thing being a sudden tremor in her hands that wouldn't stop no matter how hard she willed it to. When she pushed the button for the right floor on the elevator, she noticed her palms were slick with sweat and wiped them on her trousers hastily. It had been a while since she'd last made a trip down to Hell, so she chalked it up to nerves.

Ding.

The bell of the elevator rang out and the doors slid apart. Immediately Uriel's nose was assaulted by some offensive odor, like burnt rubber and half-rotted flesh. She cringed, before remembering that she had to maintain a certain countenance while she was down here, and thus away with her disgust before setting out to find Michael.

She expected to find the angel off in the farthest corners of Hell somewhere, quietly and stoically talking over some contract of sorts with Lord Beelzebub in zir throne room. Where she did not expect to find them, however, was directly around the next corner, chatting it up with a certain pair of demons. It took a good few seconds for Uriel to muster up something to say, but once the words came to her...

"Michael! What are you doing with them?!" She demanded, appalled. Michael and the two demons looked over at her, unfazed.

"You look familiar." Ligur remarked casually. "D'we know you from somewhere?"

"You do," Michael reminded him gently, "Don't you remember Uriel?"

Hastur and Ligur exchanged a look of realization.

"Oh!" Hastur grinned wickedly. "I remember 'er now! Ligur put a hole in yer leg that one time, didn't he?"

Uriel's vision went dark at the edges and in a matter of seconds, her crossbow manifested in her hands. She aimed for Hastur's head and he shrieked, ducking behind Ligur for cover only for the pair to get into a shoving match over who'd get shot first.

"Uriel!" Scolded Michael, stepping between her and the demons. "Put the bow away, this is neutral ground! What on Earth is wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with you?!" Uriel snapped back. "You're...you're...fraternizing with the demons that tried to kill us a few centuries ago! What the fuck?! I thought you were down here on legitimate business reasons!"

"It is not fraternizing! I am here on legitimate business reasons!" The other angel retorted.

"Oh, sure you are! I thought you and Lord Beelzebub were discussing a contract!"

"Uriel, please." Michael looked at her in exasperation. "This is not the right place for this sort of conversation--"

"I'd be much more inclined to believe that if the two of you were somewhere more private than a fucking hallway to begin with!"

By this point, a large number of demons had begun to crowd around the bends of the hallway, watching the argument unfold while safely avoiding the angels' wrath. Uriel felt their stares burn into her neck, heard them whispering and jeering among one another, and felt her hold on her temper start to slip away. Two angels, going at it in the middle of Hell. What a sight they must have been.

"What's your problem?!" Michael looked ready to smack her senseless. Ligur and Hastur watched on with amusement. "And what are you even doing here, anyway? Did Gabriel send you?"

"As a matter of fact, he did." The other angel looked at them smugly. Some part of her registered vaguely the fact that she was being irrational, but that wasn't enough to stop her.

"You know what," Michael raised their voice, their tone pointedly much calmer than it was before with just enough passive-aggressiveness sprinkled in to tell any and every demon listening in to kindly fuck off. "I believe it's time for us to take our leave. Upstairs needs us, after all. Hastur, Ligur. Lovely seeing you both again." They smiled sweetly at the pair, who returned the look with something of a blend between awe and almost well-masked terror.

"Yeah, alright," Ligur backed off from them slowly, "Don't slip on something on yer way out. Or do, I don't give a shit."

He and Hastur laughed, and then they were gone. Uriel and Michael exchanged a look and began to head for the elevator.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Michael snapped as soon as they were out of earshot of any passers-by. "I was busy!"

Uriel rolled her eyes. "Oh really." She retorted coldly. "I'll bet you were! I was only following orders from Gabriel coming down here, you know. I couldn't give a shit either way what it is you're doing as long as it's not treason."

"Don't talk about my work like I'm some underling!" Snapped Michael. "You are absolutely unbelievable, you know that?"

"You can't believe me!" Uriel stopped only when she was finally at the elevator's button control system and pressed the one for Earth's ground floor, the limbo between Heaven and Hell they'd have to take to get back upstairs. "May I remind you just what that little meeting you got out of just now looks like from an outside perspective? I've got reason to be mad at you, you two-timing bitch!"

The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open to reveal an empty car, much to Uriel's relief. She looked over her shoulder to find Michael glowering at her, looking furious as they'd ever been, and without warning they grabbed her by the lapels of her jacket and shoved her against the back wall of the elevator.

"You really piss me off." They said, leering at Uriel with their teeth bared. Their nose was but an inch or two away from the other angel's face. "You're throwing assumptions around with nothing to support it. How dare you accuse me, a fucking Archangel, of treason in the middle of Hell? Are you insane?"

"Socializing with two demons out in the open like that isn't exactly a good look on you, either, to be fair."

Michael pursed their lips. "I-- that's--"

It was at that moment when both angels realized just what sort of position they were in, with Uriel pinned against the wall and the other angel's face dangerously close to her own. The elevator felt a lot more cramped and stuffy all of a sudden and Michael let her go with a final harsh shove. Wordlessly, Uriel let herself lay back against the elevator cart as the other pressed the button for the floor, their back to her.

"After we get back upstairs," They said as the door slid shut, and the car began to move upwards, "I don't care what you need me for. Don't bother me, and don't talk to me."

"...Right. Whatever."

Uriel found she could not, for the life of her, look at Michael properly for the entire duration of the ride.

'I hate you.' She thought, wrapping her arms around herself and biting back her anger.

To say it was an awkward ride up was quite the understatement.