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Body Dysphoria

My body doesn't fit me anymore

I feel it tighten around my neck

My head contains many thoughts

But all my mouth can say is a babbling mess

My stomach is so huge and I can't see my feet

But when I look into the mirror my ribs take a peek

I can feel the food in my throat

And I can't wrap my hand around my wrist

My thighs touch

I can barely take a deep breath

My body doesn't fit me anymore

I feel claustrophobic in my own skin

I'm tired, I feel droopy

I haven't eaten in days

Today I saw my collarbones and I felt some hope

But when I stood straight my chin became six and I knew I was a joke

I can't look in the mirror or my cheeks begin to grow

They cover up my face and make my eyes look sore

I see pudgy hands and a body with no shape when I look into the mirror

My body doesn't fit me anymore

I want to get rid of it

I tried scratching it off, ripped my skin apart in two

Now my body holds the scars of a girl who has no clue what to do

Maybe one day I'll love myself, be able to tell others what I've been through

My skin doesn't fit me anymore, but I hope one day this won't be true

-This poem is for the lonely dolls who feel they need a new body. Stay hopeful, you are not alone in this fight. Take it from me, I'm about to be one year clean of self harm. 

Author's Note: Turned one year clean of self harm on September 1st, 2019! It still is a struggle to deal with hating your body but I want to learn to appreciate who I am. Hurting yourself isn't the answer and neither is verbally abusing yourself. You are strong and you will be ok. When? When the time is right and the environment is safe for you to be yourself. Please don't give up, you are not alone.