|| Carefree For The Moment. ||

|| Part Nine. ||

Jab duayen maine Rab se maangi.
Tab jaake tu mila...
Baante milkar dono saathi.
Shikva ho ya gila.
Vaada raha,
Vaada raha,
Vaada raha pyaar ka...

Mishti had her back on the wall in the corridor of the hospital. Her arms wrapped around her body. She was lost in her own thoughts.

Thoughts of moments between them earlier that evening; when he came to get her from the airport. Of the first time she told him that she loved him. Him teasing her when she was reluctant to say it. All those sweet moments playing in her mind as the tears continued to fall. But she didn't wipe them away. She just stood there, letting them fall on to her arms.

Kunal was sat on the chair, his hands folded as he rested his chin on his hands. He got up at once, unable to sit still any longer, so he began to pace the corridor. "If something happens to Bhai, I swear-" He said aloud. He wasn't even sure who he was saying it to her. To himself?

"The last time we were here" Mishti began speaking out loud to herself & Kunal stopped pacing to see the sadness in her eyes. "I didn't even realise that I loved him." She said with a slight laugh. "All I knew, was that he was in trouble & I needed to save him."... I didn't know that by saving him, I was saving myself" She had a slight smile on her face. "When I saw that piece of glass in his chest." She paused & Kunal closed his eyes for a split second, even the thought of his brother in a little bit of pain causing him to flinch.

"I couldn't think straight." She sighed. "I don't know how I even got him out of that car to be honest. I just. Did" she shrugged. "I knew if I didn't gather my strength & get him out, I-" she paused. "I don't know what would have happened to me." She shrugged then turned to Kunal, an ocean of tears were rolling down her cheeks by now. "The other day, you told me to find someone else" She sighed, wiping her eyes before looking straight at him & Kunal looked away, recalling what he had said in the heat of the moment. Words he didn't regret at the time, but looking back, not quite sure how he had said it. He had a sister, at home. How could he have stooped so low? "I can't look for anyone else. He's a part of me. Just like I'm a part of him" She told him softly. "The night of his birthday" She continued. "I promised him, if he ever left me, I'd die." She said simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world."Nothing will happen to him." She rested her back on the wall again, her tears had finally stopped. "He'll be fine" She assured him, more than herself.

His love had made her stronger. Much stronger than she was before. She was shaken. For a while. But now...

"He's brought so much colour into my life" She smiled to herself recalling the first time they had met. Him throwing the colour on him. Calling him Angry Chorni for the first time. Then the holi party. Him throwing colour on her again. The Navatri party. When they shared a few sneaking moments together when she had challenged him. She shook her head. "He's given me a whole new reason to live for. But, what have I done for him?" She mused then met Kunal's gaze. "What have I brought into his life, Kunal?" She asked him honestly but Kunal daren't respond to her.

"I've just brought him pain; Pain & suffering." She sighed. "But he'd never say anything to me. He'd never let me blame myself. But I do. Sometimes But, I do blame myself. Because if it wasn't for me then the two of you wouldn't have drifted apart." She shrugged. "& I know you blame me for it. I know you do. But as much as it was your fault, it was mine & I hold my hand up to it. I should have found a better way to deal with the matter. Instead of lashing out like that. You can't clap with one hand, right?" She said but yet again, he didn't answer.

"But tell me Kunal" She began, hoping at least this time he would give her words a reply. "Would you have been happy being in that relationship? Would you have been able to live with yourself if the two of us got married & were completely miserable. Because honestly; that's what would have happened" She explained. "That day you arranged the surgery for my eyes, I realised it then" She shrugged & he let out a quiet sigh. "I realised that I'm not the kind of person for you & you're certainly not the kind of person for me. I'd never been brought up to fall under the pressure of anyone & regress my thoughts & emotions for the sake of any one else. But you couldn't understand that. Well, you probably could" She sighed. "You just didn't want to" She added.

"But Abeer..." She went back to him & a smile automatically came to her lips.. "Abeer understood. He understood before I even did. That's why he lashed out in the hospital. & I ended up telling him off!" She scoffed then took off her glasses & held it to her chest. "When he brought me these. After I lost my old ones in the fire. I didn't know where that wave of emotion came from. I just let it pour out after everything that had happened. & he was there. Standing in front of me, a case of new glasses in his hand. He understood what I needed. & he gave it." She said then sighed.

"I know Kunal" She told him, taking her back off the wall to approach him, slowly. "I know whatever I'm saying to you might not make any sense right now. I know that perhaps it'll never make any sense. & that's not completely your fault" She explained. "But any decision you make, any action that you take because of a decision you make; that is your responsibility. You want to lash out at me; fine. Have at it. You want to scream, shout, tell me it's all my fault & that you wish I'd never come in to your lives, fine!" She shrugged. "But I'm telling you this now, loudly & clearly" She told him. "Nothing you say or do to me, will cause me to leave your brother." She vowed. "If he keeps his promises, you'd better be damn sure I keep mine!" She warned him

"Mishti!" A voice called & Mishti turned to see both her mother, father & uncle rushing into the hospital.
"Badi Maa, Bade Papa! Where were you?" She sighed, as calm as anything. "I thought you were following right behind us?"
"We got stuck in the traffic!" Shaurya sighed.
"Have you told Meenakshi Aunty?" Mishti asked her, Rajshri exchanged looks with Vishamber worriedly, this calm demeanour taking them both aback as it was completely different to what they saw a little while ago.
"Yeah, she's on her way" Shaurya told her. "She should be here soon"
"Okay, good" She sighed. "I'm fine, Badi Maa" she assured her mother. "& Abeer will be fine too, you wait & see." She said & her Badi Maa gave her a tight hug, as her Bade Papa put his hand on her head, comfortingly.

"What did the doctor say?"
"We're just waiting for him to come. Right Kunal?" She asked, turning to Kunal, who nodded slowly, several thoughts clearly playing on his mind after what Mishti had said to him. Mishti smiled softly. She was glad. At least this gave her the opportunity to speak to him calmly.

Thank you Ajeeb Rajvansh. She said in her mind. Now, all I need is for you to get up. She closed her eyes & prayed silently.