Two bros and The Internet

•Chapter 26•

[Mark's POV]:

I place the waffles down and stare in amazement as Sean wolfed down his waffles. How did he eat so fast? Then I heard gagging; choking. His eyes lolled in the back of his head as he started to fall forward. I rushed to his aid, grabbed his shoulders and held him up straight. I slammed my fist into his back firmly, trying to help him cough up waffle. Unsuccessful. I lift him, press his unconscious body against the back of the sofa and perform the Heimlich move. He coughs up a small chunk of waffles and falls forward. I lay him gently against the sofa and call 911.

"Hello, hello? Sir, how may I help you?" Comes a polite voice from my speakerphone.

"Hey, ma'am. My friend," I cringed at the name "just choked on some waffle and passed out. I performed the Heimlich thingy, and he seems to be okay. He hasn't woken up yet though, what should I do?"

The lady thinks for a moment.

"I wouldn't worry about it. I recommend not letting him eat solid foods too often for about a week. Keep an eye on him and make sure he's rested. Apart from that, I don't think he needs emergency attention." She replies sweetly.

"Okay, thank you very much. Have a nice day." And I hang up.

Sean, you stupid moron. You had me scared shitless.

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[A few hours later]

Around evening time, I finished recording some videos, posted one and went downstairs to grab a cola. I noticed that Sean hadn't stirred at all since I put him there this afternoon.

"Heya sleepy head. You okay?" I ask high-spiritedly for the 4th time this hour. I keep coming back to see if he's awake, I can't bear not being with him.

"Sean? Please wake up. Please wake up ya big doof. Stop fucking with me man. WAKE UP!!!" I yell in defeat. I fall to the floor dramatically so my face is level with his.

"Shut up Merk. I heard yeh teh first 12 fecking times yeh crybaby." I hear as my face is buried into the side of the couch. I don't dare look up, knowing how red my face will be from crying.

My face still full of leather couch, I mumble, "I fucking hate you, Sean." I hear cheerful giggling and the sofa shift. I lift my head and rub my race to stare at Sean. Just like always, I was greeted by dazzlingly blue eyes and a beautifully shaped smile.

"You big bum bum." He laughs, wrapping my head into a headlock and rubbing his small knuckles through my soft floof.

"Sean! I thought you were dead!" I yelled in protest, trying to drag myself away from his tight embrace.

"I'll never die on yeh bub, you should know that." Comes a cheerful response.

"Whatever. I've been told by a paramedic that you can only eat soft mushy foods for a week or so so that you don't die again." I smirk, seeing his expression. He loves eating food, and to be denied of proper food is like betrayal from the gods.

"What!? Yeh fookin' kiddin' is?!" He yells in exasperation.

"Yeah, hate to break it to ya buddy."

An indistinguishable mumble barely escaped his lips before he gets up and walks to the fridge. He opens the door and his eyes widen in horror.

"WHY IS THERE NO SOLID FOOD??" Little did he know, whilst he had been asleep, I had blended up every single hard food in the house. I predicted this little tantrum.

"To keep you safe."

"But whyy?"

"Because."

He runs to get his phone. He dials a number.

"Hello, this is Taco Bell speaking, how may I help you?"

"Yeah I'd like to orde-" He starts.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr Mcglochlin. We just had a recent call suggesting we do not serve you due to medical reasons. We must end this call now to serve waiting customers." Click.

"Mark. I will actually fucking punch you."

"Come at me bro," I say. To my surprise, he takes a half-hearted swing. It hits me square in the chest. I feel the impact but hardly move. He takes another swing. He hits me in the chest weakly 5 times, and when I am not perturbed, he glares at me angrily.

"Why-" He punched. "Won't-" Another punch. "You-" yet another. "REACT!" he yells, slamming his palm heavily into my chest. I stumble ever so slightly and he looks at the ground, sweating. He falls to his knees infront of me and stares at the ground, panting like mad.

"I- I'm so sorry Mark. I just- I really love my food." He half-sobs, half-pants.

"It's alright princess, don't worry," I say, holding out my hand for him. He slaps it away.

"I may love you 'n all that shite, but I'm absolutely nails. Don't call me a princess till you rescue me from a god damn tower by climbing up me long, green locks. Got it?" He says aggressively.

"G-Got it."

It pained me to see him this way, I'd never seen him so angry before.

"Sean, I've already had dinner. I'll go make you some stew. I think you're allowed stew." I say kind of awkwardly. He turns around to face me, (by this point he had gotten off the floor and was facing away from me.) and smiles softly.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate that." He says and gives me a kiss on the cheek. He sits on the sofa playing a game on his phone while I make soup. I hear him chatting in the living room.

"Wappish! Top o' tha mornin' to yeh laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye, and this is a vlog! Crazy, I know right? Well, I have some news for you.

"I am currently on a diet of stew and mashed taeties because my dumbass choked on waffle when I was eating breakfast this morning. I know, 'haha, jacks an idiot' whatever. Don't judge me, okay? They were fookin' delicious!

"If you're wondering where I am, this, in fact, is NOT my couch back home in Ireland. I'm actually visiting Mark from Markipliers house at the moment. He's the one who almost killed me, guys!! Go! Raid his channel! Raid his comment section!! I command you, my gladiators! Fight for ya ol' Jackaboi!

"Anyways, the purpose of this vlog is just to say, I may not be able to record long videos or whatever because it is difficult to focus sometimes. Hope you guys don't mind.

"So, thank you guys, so much fer watching. If you liked it, punch that subscribe button in the face LIKE A BOSS, and, high-fives all around. Wappish, wappish-" He even did the cute little motions. That's one of the things I love about his videos. -"and I will see all you dudes, in THE NEXT VIDEO!" He practically screamed. He turned the camera to me real quick, and I waved and put on a goofy smile.

"Buh-byee!!"

He turned off the camera and I smiled.

"Thanks Merk. I love you!" He said and stood up to come hug me.

"As much as I love you, Leprechaun, I still need you to sit down so you don't risk jolting your insides around." I said, and pushed him back to the sofa. We sat and chat, ate our dinner and headed off to bed. It was a nice evening, had Sean not almost died.