The Gamble Of Life

01 ~ Beginning

She was devastated and broken, her conscience, her beliefs went numb after she saw her parents fighting for their lives and die in front of her, because of her.

If only she was patient and didn't insist on going for a long drive, if only they didn't gi've in. If only, if only,   if only was the only metaphor left in her life.

Her passion, her dreams, her goals, her ambitions were all shattered, her love for her life, herself all gone within a spam of hours only leaving a girl drowning in misery with no love for the world or her dreams.

Numerous times she tried to give herself reasons why her existence was nothing but a burden and that her life was neither needed nor wanted, her goals, her ambitions were nothing but a myth, but her parents last wish of seeing her happy and successful in whatever she did always out weighed all the other reasons.

After a week of nothing but sleepless nights, despite not wanting to live, she decided to make a fresh start for her parents.

After pondering over all the options and different websites and newspapers for what felt like eternity.
She fixed interviews with a few companies and pulled up her oh-so-famous-I-don't-give-and-take-shit, no matter how much she was hurting inside.

After going through all the horrible with people who didn't have anything to do with your knowledge, all they wanted was a walking slut in their office.

After hearing enough of we will call you later from everywhere. It seemed like the whole world was conspiring to make all her efforts nothing but epic failures.

She felt herself become hollow and her life, a sad tragedy. Feeling royally trashed and being through all the rise and tides of sea, her life felt like a roller coaster.

Although, she knew she wouldn't succeed just like all the other times.

But still for her parents, she decided on the thing that intrigued her the most 'writing'.

Even after debating with her self she wasn't sure if she was ready to let the world read what has always been in her diary. And from which platform, surely will publish a book written by a 22 year inexperienced girl.

    Days passed thinking about this.

As time was passing, her self confidence and patience was wearing off.

The other day, she was sitting by the balcony, drowning in misery and drenching in sorrows, reminiscing all the good times she spent with her parents.

Suddenly, it clicked, the app 'wattpad' where anybody and everybody with a creative mind, sassy attitude and intriguing nature is welcome to share their stories and as far as reading is considered, the options are unlimited.

She let out a quick laugh remembering how her mother used to scold her that she will destroy her eyesight by reading books on the phone.

Because her mocks were due so she deleted that app, but now was the perfect time to download it again. Maybe this was her chance, the start of a new beginning.

She downlaided it again and after constantly running a battle between her heart and mind she finally decided to let loose, to allow the world in her life, to make people realize the worth of their loved ones and to not take them for granted.

She exactly hadn't been the best daughter and being the only one her every wish was granted before she knew it.

She didn't want others to waste their time in meaningless shit and regret later, in short she didn't want anyone to end up like her.

Although, she didn't write with her original name as it was better that way just like some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

She wrote her first chapter with shaking hands and the first view, first comment encourages her to go on and she did.

        First time after her parents died, she actually smiled and not the fake one.
        She cried but not out of despair, instead out of pure happiness when her book was published.

And just like that her life took a toll for the best.