The Game of Love

Chapter 9 - For One to Begin, Another Must End

I woke to the bright rays of sun beaming into my open bedroom window. Ugh, morning already? I forgot to close the damn blinds again... Rolling over to get away from the horrible shine of daylight, I came face to face with a very handsome, very naked, man. Sitting up, I screamed and pushed back, shoving him from the bed. Oh shit!!

"Hoseok! Oh god, I'm so sorry!", I looked over the edge at him as he rubbed his head, clearly confused by what just happened.

"What the hell, Candi?"

"I'm sorry... I forgot you where still here. It scared me when I rolled over into your face."

"My face is scary!?"

"Shut up!", I laughed, "You've just never still been here after... I mean, usually you're gone before I'm even dressed."

"Well, technically, you're NOT dressed.", he shot a sly look at me as his eyes trailed my naked body.

Hoseok made his way back up into bed and linked our bodies together, fingers intertwining as he kissed my forehead.

"You're not going to disappear if I get dressed, are you?"

"Hmmmm... I might. You better stay like this just to be safe.", he was grinning from ear to ear, but that statement didn't amuse me.

"That's not funny...", I lowered my eyes and started to pull away. I risked everything for this, hearing that joke only made me feel like I had maybe chosen wrong.

"Baby... don't. I'm sorry. I won't leave, I promise."

"I hope not, I have to go break the heart of a sweet man because of you. Don't make me hurt him for nothing."

"You won't regret giving me this chance. I finally have you.", he pulled me close and kissed my lips deeply, "I'm never letting you go. I know this is what I want."

"It better be...", slowly, I let myself relax into his arms, feeling more comfortable.

"I've never done the relationship thing, so I may not be good at it right away... I may even do some things that upset you. But I won't mean to!", he sat up after seeing my eyes narrow and took my face in his hands. "I'm going to do my best, can you be patient with me?"

"Just don't walk out on me."

"Never ba-", we both jumped when my phone went off with a text. Suddenly, my heart sank, I knew who it was... and so did he. "Oh, right... I'm still the 'other' guy..."

I watched as Hoseok's face dropped and he looked away. "Not for long...", I turned his face back toward me and gave a half smile. It was going to hurt to do this to Bryan, but it had to be done. "I don't want to crush him over a text... is it okay if I play it cool right now and meet him for lunch?" Hoseok's face grew grim. "Just one last nice memory for him and a painlessly as possible break up."

"What if he says no? What if he tells you he loves you and wants you to stay?? What if you fall for him and I lose you?", he was starting to get a little worked up.

"Hoseok!", I grabbed him, "Calm down. You're getting a little crazy."

"I'm sorry... I've just never done this before, I've never had to deal with feeling this way. For the first time ever, I'm afraid of losing someone."

"You're hopeless...", I shook my head and smiled.

"I know..."

"Alright, come here and give me a kiss, then make sure you're available later.", I gave him a sweet little peck, "I'm going to feel like shit when I get back."

"Anything you want, baby.", he still looked a little unsure of letting me go.

"Hey... look at me. You're not going to lose me. You were right, I was bored with Bryan. He's a good man, he's just not good for me."

"That's a good line... did I say that??"

"No honey, Joe did.", I laughed, "He helped me see a little more clearly. I realized I wanted you too, after the story he told me about his wife."

"I'm gonna buy ALL that man's cookies!!", I busted out laughing as I wiggled out of bed to get dressed. "What!?", he laughed back, "I owe him!"

"Alright, you go buy all the cookies, and then share them with me when I get back. It will help cheer me up."

"You got it, babe."

I had to laugh again, he was cute. Cuter than I thought, now that I had him full time. He was probably right about another thing too, I probably did love him... at least a little. He had potential after all. I had no idea how it even happened, how could I feel like I needed to be with him when the only thing we had was physical? How had he even fallen for me? He says he loves me, and I don't doubt he believes it, but what does he know? He's never been in love before. Or so he says. I don't know, Hoseok isn't a liar; but either way, one thing was certain; as long as I wanted him in my life, there was no room for progression with Bryan. Not that it probably would have gone anywhere anyway. Ever since meeting Hoseok, something about me changed. It was like I was shown a whole new world that I never knew I wanted to be a part of. He had shattered my 'perfect', and now I couldn't go back.

After I was dressed, I did a light touch of makeup so I didn't look like a walking break up the moment he saw me. I took out my phone and read Bryan's message, then texted him back.

'Good morning baby. Sleep well?' – Bryan

'Yes I did. What are you doing today? Want to grab lunch?'

'You read my mind! Joe's?' – Bryan

Oh honey, if you could read my mind, you would have never accepted this last lunch date. There was no way I could go to Joe's with him again. That was my spot with Hoseok now, it just didn't feel right to share it with anyone else.

'How about Giovani's?', I text him back. It was set, we'd have some Italian and then I'd break the poor man's heart.

"I'll be back later... lock up when you leave, okay?", I yelled back at Hoseok as he stared at me with puppy eyes, still naked in bed. I trusted him in my home, if he could hold onto my memory for months and not move on, I don't think I had to worry about anything with him. I hope he left soon though, there was no way I could break up with Bryan in public, that would just add insult to injury. I'd have to bring him back here for some privacy... and I really didn't want the guys to see each other. I didn't even want to have to tell Bryan about Hoseok if at all possible. To be completely honest, even though it was Hoseok's doing that made me realize this wasn't the type of relationship for me, it wouldn't have worked out with Bryan in the long run anyway. I would have become disconnected with him, and eventually we would have broken up.

Arriving at the corner restaurant, I saw Bryan already waiting for me with a smile on his face. He was so sweet, part of me was really going to miss what I had with him. I smiled back, but my heart was already aching for the coming act.

"Hi baby!", he greeted me with a hug and a tender kiss.

It hurt to kiss him back... Hurt because I was about to hurt him... hurt because I felt like I was betraying Hoseok to do so, even though I was still technically dating Bryan.

"Hi..."

This was an awful feeling. If only there was a way to let him down without hurting him. I just wanted to go home to Hoseok and forget all this... coward. Face this head on! Bryan deserves at least that much! Taking a deep breath, I took his arm and we went in.

Lunch went by painfully slow, I was trying to make it seem normal and give him one last good memory; all while fighting against this horrible growing ache. It was so hard to look at him with happy eyes. I couldn't tell if he knew something was wrong or if it was just my own nerves. I really hope Hoseok had left...

"Want to come back to my place for a bit?", please don't hear the dread in my voice.

"Sure..." Crap, I think he's starting to pick up on it.

We walked back to my place hand in hand, but every so often he squeezed my hand and gave me that 'you okay?' look. Keep it together... don't hurt him in public. I smiled up at him and he relaxed a little. When we got back to the apartment, I froze at the top of the stairs. Hoseok was just walking out...