I Understand

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Friend,

I'm beginning to understand things that I didn't before. I just wish I didn't have toe experience them. I now understand what people mean 'Smile on the outside and cry on the inside.' Just because you have a smile on your face doesn't mean your happy nor does it make you happy.

I stated in my last letter that I was looking over my old newsletters. I tried writing more, just to see if I could. But when I read it back they gradually became more and more sad and depressing. I have lost all motivation to do much of anything.

People who are depressed always told me "You will never understand my hell." I can now tell those people that now, I do. Or at least part of it. The worst part is I can't explain my feelings. It's not only because no one's here but because I can't find the words to say it. So, yea.

Your friend,

Jacob.

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