When Feelings Lie

Chapter 2

2011

Corinne

For two days, I've been thinking only about what to ask Zara for my birthday. I'll be twelve years old. I'm already grown up. I would've wanted my mother to be with me. I miss her. I miss her the most when Dad hugs me and tells me I look like Mom. Mom was a beautiful woman. I don't think I am. I'm blonde like her, I've got blue eyes, but I'm not slender like she was. I'm short, but maybe I'll get taller. I'm not like Zara. She likes sports. All sports. But she's best at tennis. I miss her when she leaves for tournaments, and I've kept all the newspapers that wrote about her. If she finds out, she will laugh at me, so I don't tell her anything. I love her too much, so does she. She'd do anything for me. How many times has she stayed with my friends and me to make us cookies?

Anyway, Mom was one of the best clothes designers who ever existed, while Dad is a great painter. I don't know how well-known he is, but his paintings sell well. They would sell even better if he went to expositions, but he always tells his promoter that he's not leaving his girls alone in the woods.

Zara is an artist, too, in everything she does. Playing tennis—she has won a championship between high schools. She also reached two semifinals at I don't know what competitions.

And when she makes my girls' nights special, it's fantastic. She does everything for us. A friend's mother came twice to ask her about the cookie recipes. Zara started laughing. She didn't know them. She told her she only cooks what she feels. She feels the ingredients. They are feelings, as Dad tells us. What should I ask her for my birthday?

"What are you doing, kiddo? Daydreaming again?"

I turn around to Tom's voice. Thomas—the nice guy and Zara's best friend. They are classmates. He looks good. It's normal, considering how many times he trains a day. Even more than Zara.

"Hi, Tom. I'm not daydreaming. I'm thinking about what I should ask Zara for my birthday. If I don't tell her today, she won't buy me anything."

"Yeah, sure she won't. She will buy you something entirely useless and will convince you that it's the most perfect gift in the world. Like you don't know your sister. Where is she? I'm here to pick her up because I also need to buy a teddy bear for a kiddo."

"I'm not a kiddo! I'm turning twelve! And don't buy me a teddy bear because I'm not a kid anymore. I don't accept toys."

"Yeah, don't buy her a teddy bear, because I've already bought a bigger one, even bigger than my baby," my father says.

I turn around to him and jump into his arms.

"I know what I want from you, Daddy."

"Hmm? Let's hear it."

"I was hoping you could make me a tattoo like the one Zara has."

Dad's face changes, and he suddenly gets mad.

"You are too young for that. She is also young, but she never asked for permission. She does everything as she wants. Do you think I agreed? Good thing that I don't see it. But getting a tattoo at sixteen, when she hopes to become a professional tennis player, is sheer stupidity."

"It's not stupidity, Dad," Zara says, coming from upstairs. "I wanted it, so I did it. I wasn't supposed to ask you. I wanted something to remind me of Mom for a long time. And the money was mine anyway, so leave me alone. You've always told us to make decisions by ourselves, so I did. Why are you frowning? I am happy because I have Mom with me all the time. Let's go, Tom. I don't want to hear meaningless discussions for two hours again."