Black Ice ✓ | Deathsworn #1

LIST OF REVISIONS

Hello, lazy reader.

I made some changes on the book. You're probably here to see the changes I made because you don't want to read back (esp. if you read this during its first drafting stages). I understand completely.

I rarely reread myself unless the book really strikes my heart. I understand if Black Ice just isn't that book for you.

Also, I see people comment: "Do you really even read the comments? Why are you demanding for comments anyway? Is it just for numbers?"

No, my dear. I take comments and feedback seriously. When I see people disappointed with a part or confused, I am immediately worried and become obsessed with "fixing it." I love feedbacks and one primary reason why I have improved on my craft is because of valuable input from readers. So, if you're an author who dislikes criticism, then you are not pursuing art. You're pursuing popularity and self-satisfaction.

Art is made to be torn apart and reconstructed. That's how the industry evolves. It may be unreasonable, and it hurts your feelings, but we peeps have to suck it up.

That being said, I am aware that people think my books are "draggy." That, my friends, is just the way I write.

Slow-burn romance, character development, relationship development, plot development.

I also hate myself for taking development way too seriously because it really takes a lot of time and effort. But if I lost the elements in the middle you say are "boring," I don't think the ending will be as satisfying.

"Fillers" are my philosophy.

It's my fillosophy.

LOL. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Yes, I know they can still be polished. Improvement is neverending. No matter how much I justify myself, people are going to find flaws and holes to poke on, but I decide in the end which one to remove or to add.

If you're someone who enjoyed this style, then thank you. If not, thank you still for giving it a chance and getting here. You wouldn't if you didn't have the patience.

That being said, here's everything:

1. Made changes to how Hellenia stumbles on Evyionne and Amber (Chapter 2: Abducted)

2. Made changes to Hellenia and Evy's convo on Chapter 5: Argen.

3. Added a scene on Chapter 7: Tested with Evy's discovery of her ability and also changed the way Eren and Evy first met. I thought having Eren just sneak into the room to hide was abrupt and jarring--like that unnecessary and rushed romance add-on that the author puts in for the sake of conformity.

4. Changed the way Evy found Maun. I felt like having him just end up on their doorstep is lazy and way too convenient. Like, he was left there for plot development. Chapter 12: Guest.

6. I made Papi a Conduit. You'll know why. Chapter 19-20.

7. I removed that mysterious man who leaves Evy a note about the Temple of the Gods. It didn't really lead to anywhere and they had enough reason to visit with Mistress Veronika's apparent connection to it as former disciple. Chapter 21 - 24.

8. Changed the way Evy went out to meet Eren and bring Maun along. I felt it was inconsiderate and reckless of her character and was done forcefully to make everyone present for the trouble that was to come. Chapter 26 - 29.

9. Made clear why Evy chose not to sing immediately towards the last few chapters (Chapter 43 - 45) because it seemed people didn't understand why she wasn't supposed to or why she held back at all. Do remember that Evy's abilities chooses no friend or foe. It tends to be indiscriminately destructive. If she just unleashes it without being capable of controlling it properly, she risks the lives of her mistresses as well. I removed Amber's interference and suggestion in order to prevent readers from blaming her or calling her stupid. Amber was supposed to sound taunting and unhelpful, but I don't think this was portrayed well.

10. Why doesn't Evy scream during Chapter 41 - 42 when she was being chased? I don't want to justify this, but if you think it was stupid, either you probably missed the details as to why it happened or I lacked ability on explaining why.

That should be most of the important ones. If you'd like to reread the book, please don't hesitate on commenting with a feedback. I assure you it's a smoother read this time around, with less jarring climb on tension towards the climax.

Thank you for your support!

Please support the webcomic for this book that we're planning on releasing as well very soon--probably somewhere towards the end of November 2019 to the first week of December 2019.

The webcomic will be titled BLACK ICE.