Dear Mitch (Merome)

Chapter 2

"Taylor!" I gazed around the area, before I trudged over to my friends as eyes watched my entrance. I felt the edge of the book digging into my back reassuringly. "Hey Grace." She grinned at me, but Andrew raised his eyebrows at me. "Do I still exist?"

"No?" I asked, and he scowled at me. Grace giggled, until he glared at her. "So what's new?"

"What do you think?" I asked, before dumping my bag at my feet. Grace looked at me sympathetically. "Yelling again?"

"Looks like divorce is on the cards," I said, and rolled my eyes. "Why can they not just get it over with? Just keep dragging it out and make everyone depressed, why don't you?"

"Because they love each other?" Andrew offered, and I tried to smile. "Maybe." Then my brows furrowed. "When hell freezes over."

"But your dad is awesome!"

"Yeah. My dad." I said, a scowl on my face. "Mom on the other hand..." I trailed off, feeling tears start to flood my eyes. I hastily blinked them away, then picked up my bag. "I'm going to the library, join me if you want." I said softly, trying to hide my tears as I quickly ran off. It wasn't really an easy task with people watching. I wasn't cool, nor did I try to seek attention, but everyone knew who I was because of Dad. My friends didn't really help my attempts to be less conspicuous either. Andrew, a popular jock, and Grace, the pretty fashionista. Sure, if I wanted to be ignored, people would leave me alone, but my social status was higher than I deserved. People trying and failing to be in my 'clique' I had. It tired me, because everything felt so fake.

Somehow, I did manage to shake off the watchers as I advanced the library and I found a quiet corner.

It felt like I was evading Dad's privacy, but I wanted to know about this Mitch. Dad always mentioned him, like in relation to the shirt I was wearing, or antics he had gotten up to when he was younger. I heard of him when he talked about his YouTube. So many stories about him, but I had still never met him. Why had I never met him if they had been so close for so long? Anyway, if this was in the closet, it meant that Mom probably knew about it. That's my justification. I took a deep breath. I had seen it last night, but only read the first sentence when I took it to my room and hid it.

I opened it, and began reading.

28 July 2020

Dear Mitch,

I got this diary/journal thing yesterday, because of what I did. I'm so sorry. I never meant to say what I did, but I did say it, and I can now never take what I said back. I can only live with the fact I've hurt you really bad.

You're still invited to the wedding. Louise doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know what you did. What we did. I don't really know either. All I know is that I love you. I love you, but I can't have you. I love Louise as well, and I am going to marry her, and we will have a family. I wish it were you, but it can't happen. I love her too much to hurt her, but now I'm hurting you. Maybe it's for the best.

I know you wanted other things, but maybe it has to be like this. I don't know. We're supposed to talk tomorrow, but I don't know if I want to deal with what I've done. I feel awful, and I don't want to see the scars behind your smile, the pain behind your eyes, and the hurt behind your laugh. So I think I want to end this friendship. I do still want to see you. I just don't know if I can deal with the guilt. Immature, I know.

I'll see how tomorrow goes Mitch. I hope you'll still be there for me. I hope you'll fight.

Love, Jerome

I leaned back. So something happened? That was why I didn't know Mitch, had never met him. Dad had shown pictures once, depicting a tallish man, with brown, roguish hair, caramel coloured eyes and a happy smile. I don't know if I ever saw how much he meant to him. And my dad was bisexual.

Trying to divert my thoughts a little, I kept on reading. Maybe I should have stopped, but I didn't want to. I wanted to learn about my father, even if it meant coming to terms with the fact he was bisexual, something he never told anyone. Not even his own family.

29 July 2020

Dear Mitch

I remember what happened so clearly, because it haunts my dreams. I regret it, I really do.

We were just sitting there, with me pondering if I was right to pick Louise over you, or if I was going to regret my choice. I didn't really know how it would go. I don't know what you were thinking about, but it wasn't a happy look, and so I hugged you. Maybe I should have asked instead. Then we wouldn't have this issue.

You looked up at me, then leaned in. Your lips barely brushed mine before you tried to stop. I didn't let you. I know I picked up where we had left off. I kissed you back. There we sat for minutes, before you had the sense to pull away. "I love you." I remember you saying it, me saying it. In less than a month, I'll be saying to Louise and mean it for my lifetime. I know I'll be thinking of you when I do. I love you both... I don't know what to do! Maybe I should do nothing, but nothing never works.

We said it. Kissed. Then you pulled away and said that it wasn't right. I don't know how, but that simple thing, it escalated into a full-blown argument, and it was all my fault.

I'm so sorry.

I remember yelling things like "worthless" and "no one else will ever love you" only because I couldn't have you. Did you believe those lies that I let come out?

I'm gonna go prepare myself to see you... I hope something good comes out of this.

Love, Jerome

My dad, acting like a dickhead? The idea made me laugh. He was the mad nice guy, who helped the neighbourhood kids, occasionally subbed at school, which affected the status thing. Sure, some didn't know about the YouTuber thing somehow, but he was still the cool subsitute, and I was his daughter. What would they say about this man, so different to the one who laughed about how bad music was now. What could have made him into who he described himself as?

Love. For Mitch. His best friend. Probably enough to turn anyone insane.

Here! Have a spare chapter earlier ^_^

Amber