1977

Chapter 5

Snape: These two aspiring dunderheads do not own the Harry Potter franchise. Ob-viously.

Harry: Isn't that J.K. Rowling?

Snape: Potter, I see your time at Hogwarts has not done much for you. TEN THOUSAND POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR BEING A DUNDERHEAD!!!! MWAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Dumbledore: One billion points to Gryffindor for Harry Potter existing.

Snape: *dies of anger*

-Line Break-

Lily stumbled, tripping and nearly throwing up as they... landed? Arrived? Were delivered? She cringed as she tried to retain some shreds of her dignity in front of the toerags. Severus, falling behind her, didn't look much better. He made an unpleasant noise as he fell, moving over to a tree and hugging it as he retched.

It was ten o'clock in the night. She hated moving at night. Or doing anything other than sleeping, really.

Behind them, Potter and Black landed smoothly, followed swiftly by Remus Lupin. Black sniffed haughtily at the two. "Honestly, Snape? You two are pathetic!"

Potter wiggled his eyebrows at her (is that honestly supposed to be sexy? More like lame!). "See, Lily? Snivelling Snivellus can't even handle a Portkey. Merlin's underpants, you could do so much better than that loser."

"Like your loser of a boyfriend? Or even your playboy, idiotic self? No thanks!" Lily easily retorted.

In the moments after that, quite a few things happened.

Severus lunged at Potter, trying to wrap his hands around the Gryffindor's neck.

Potter shoved his wand into Sev's ribs. A second later, they were rolling around on the forest floor like maniacs.

Black screamed, "Excuse me?!" and sent off a spell ("Arfacio!") at Lily herself, who dodged it. The tree it hit started to dry up, its bark crackling. (A/N: Totally made up)

Lily screamed in outrage and hexed him with a Pimple Jinx. And then they, too, were dueling, although with spells instead of fists. Three cheers for civilized behaviour. 

And that obviously left Remus to separate them. He always got the dirty jobs.

Poor guy.

He shook his head at the antics of the two Marauders, the Hell-flower and the Greasy Git. James and Sirius were good friends of his, of course, but they were a little too obsessed with Snape and Lily. With a dramatic sigh (he was a closet drama queen, even if no one was paying attention), he sent an Immobulus Jinx at the brawling James and Snape, stopping them just as James aimed a kick at the place where the sun doesn't shine. As they froze in their tracks, Remus calmly (read: forcefully) wrenched them apart and tied each up in a sleeping bag.

Now to deal with Sirius...

He dived into the way of a Stupefy with a Protego shield up, catching Sirius and Lily off guard. With a flick of his wand, their wands were safely in his hand.

"Stop it, you idiots! You are not helping this mission!" he growled, a slight tint of amber flashing in his eyes. "Now shut up and go to sleep!"

"It's too early-" James protested.

"JUST BLOODY SLEEP AND STOP FIGHTING!"

The four scurried into a tent for each couple, and Remus sighed, going to his own.

This mission is going to end before it even begins.

-Line Break-

Severus and Lily curled up beside each other, each in a squashy purple sleeping bag. 

"Night, Sev," whispered Lily.

"Goodnight Lily, have a peaceful sleep without nightmares or fears of Lethifolds creeping up on you or Bowtruckles crawling into your ears or-"

Lily silenced him with a glare, before bursting out into fits of giggles. "Oh, Sev...sometimes your morbidness is plain creepy and sometimes it just ends up being cute!"

They did kiss once or twice, but before long Severus' morbidness gave way to worry. He snuggled with Lily as she moved closer, but he couldn't help but sigh.

Sleepily, Lily murmured, "What's wrong, Sev? You can tell me, you know. I love you."

"That might not be enough," he confessed, looking down. "Those two are going to try as hard as they can to hurt me. Hurt us! Even if they don't kill us, they might break us. Break everything we have."

"No, Sev! We will be fine. We have to be. We have to get through this," she insisted, eyes burning bright with passion. There was this determination she carried with her, everywhere, and it flared as she spoke.

Severus sighed again. He loved Lily, and her fiery spirit, but he just couldn't see how they could get through the mission.

He kissed her anyway, sweetly, and they laid awake a while more, just being there, each cherishing the other's presence.

Until Lily started chattering about girl stuff, he threw a pillow at her, and she tweaked his nose back.

Rolling his eyes but laughing inside, Severus shrank into the folds of his sleeping bag, giving in to the wonderful temptation of sleep.

****************************************************

"POTTER! SHUT YOUR DUMB MOUTH!" 

"This mouth is the one you kissed two days ago!" rebutted James.

Sirius looked disgusted for a moment, then scowled. "Whatever, Prongs. Now get your ass into your sleeping bag."

"You sure? I'm pretty sure you would like it up your-"

"JUST GO TO SLEEP, PRONGS!" roared Sirius, throwing a pillow at him. 

After half an hour of friendly, good natured banter (Read: Sexual innuendos, cuss words, insults and shouting), James finally grew the balls to venture, "Sirius? Are you mad at me?" (HE HAS NO BALLS-)

Well, that was a stupid question. But James was quite a stupid/ emotionally stunted person.

"You still like Lily Evans. WHY WOULDN'T I BE MAD AT YOU, DUMBASS!!!!"

"Awww, you don't mean that, do you?" James pouted. He tried to kiss Sirius, but-

A red mark started to appear on his cheek as Sirius slapped him hard on the face.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!!!" he bellowed.

James fumed as he nursed his cheek.

It was all Snivellus' fault.

Ah, the joys of true love.

(Not.) 

Hmm, maybe they would have been happier if Voldemort hadn't killed Pinky P. Inky, the developer of the Pink Fluffy Unicorn spell which would have transfigured everyone into happy pink fluffy unicorns... but that's a story for another time. Voldy is so evil! >:((((

A/N: Bwahaha hello, readers! This book is meant to manipulate your minds and bend them to read Harry Potter! Oops...did I just reveal my secret plan to everyone else? Nope I said nothing...  *Crawls to corner to hide* 

A/N 2: Have some imaginary blue cookies if you spread the secret plan around to all your friends and neighbours and relatives and eighteenth cousins thrice removed!