What We Deserve

9. JESSE

          Jesse felt his heart aching after listening to Gwen's story. He had had terrible, horrific things happen to him, but in his mind, he was deserving of those things. Though he barely knew Gwen, he knew she did not deserve the things that had happened to her. She had been kind and welcoming to him since the first time they met and he had tried to stay away from her because of it. He didn't deserve her kindness.

          But he had felt a pull towards her since that first night in Barley's. Her eyes held so much warmth. She made him feel good, like he wasn't the terrible person he thought he was.

          As he held her hand across the table, she used a napkin to dry her eyes and he knew he was tired of trying to stay away from her. He wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh, maybe for his own selfish reasons of wanting to feel like a good person. But he didn't care. After feeling dead inside for so long, he just wanted to feel alive. Feel hopeful.

          "Thank you for telling me," He said to her after her tears were dry.

          She gave him a slight smile in return.

         "Can I have that?" She gestured to his last shot in front of him.

          "It's all yours," He smiled and laughed a little as he slid the shot over to her.

          She threw it back and then slammed the glass down, "I wanna dance."

          "You want to dance? On a monday night?" He asked, amused.

          "Yeah, you heard me. I want to let loose, forget about my problems for the night."

          "Okay, but where?"

          "There's a bar down the street. My friend is there right now. You down?"

            He thought for a moment. He wasn't really a dancer, but right now he would do anything to make her smile, "Sure, why not?"

          "Yay, lets go!" She said excitedly, jumping up and grabbing his arm, pulling him out of his seat and out of Barleys.

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          "Joey!" Gwen yelled as they entered the other bar. A guy, who looked about the same age as Gwen, came walking to them, smiling.

          "Gwen!" He exclaimed as he gave her a hug, "So glad you came out."

          "It's been a day so I need alcohol and dancing."

          He laughed, "The best way to solve problems," His eyes moved to Jesse, "And who's this?"

         "This is Jesse. We met about a week ago. He's new to town and working with Clyde," Gwen answered.

          "Nice to meet you, man," Jesse held out his hand and Joey shook it.

          "You too," Joey gave him a big smile, "I'm gay, by the way. So you don't have to worry about fighting me for Gwen's attention." He let out a big laugh.

          "Oh my god, Joey," Gwen said, hitting him on the arm.

          "What? Just wanted to get that out there." He shrugged his shoulders before leaning in towards Gwen, "I don't think I could fight him anyways. This guy looks like a hardass."

           Jesse smirked to himself, but was secretly relieved that Joey played for the other team considering he DID want Gwen's attention.

           The three of them made their way up to the bar, ordering some drinks. Once they got them, they made their way to a little table on the side of the dance floor.

          "Alright, we are finishing these drinks and then we are dancing," Gwen said, pointing to Jesse.

          "You're on," He said back before taking his drink and chugging it. Gwen noticed what he was doing and took it as a challenge, chugging her drink too. They finished and slammed the empty glasses on the table.

          Joey stood there, open mouthed, "Wow, you two are really just trying to get fucked up." Gwen and Jesse didn't hear him though, because they were too busy staring at each other. 

          All of a sudden, Jesse grabbed Gwen by the waist, pulling her out onto the dance floor. They began dancing, everything else blurring out of focus. All he could see was Gwen. The way her eyes lit up, the way her hair was slightly tousled from running her hands through it. The way she laughed when he grabbed her and spun her around. When she put her hand on his arm, it was like being electrocuted in the best way. He hadn't felt this happy in so long.

          They could have danced for hours or minutes, he didn't know. In that moment, all he cared about was the brown eyed girl in front of him.