Heart of spades

Steven

I was starring up at my room ceiling, contemplating my fan turning slowly as I felt the dizziness overcoming my body. The buzzing sound of its flickering lights worsening my headache. It didn't make much sense did it?My heart ached for something I've never experienced before. This town can get pretty boring if you've lived here all your life like me. Everything is the same; the scrapped wallpaper downstairs, the librarian's desk, the reverent's front lawn, the graffitis in the school's public restrooms as well as Ol' Joe's ice cream shop that's been there for who knows how many decades. Recently, I felt this feeling of guilt, I feel trapped, like there is no escape to my never ending problems wether it be the picking fights with the jocks, getting depressed over nothing or hooking up with strangers at parties and getting rumours spread. Or maybe it's just me.
Despite my bad reputation, I managed to make a couple of friends, like Malcom and Elize. Malcom, being the dork that he is, lets me copy his homework and Liz, despite her short temperament and bitchy remarks, always manages to sneak me in at parties. As far as relationships, I remember dating this blonde girl back in freshman year. Sam. She was tall, had curly hair and blue eyes. We used to take long strolls down at lake Berry, hold hands in the hallways and gaze in each other's eyes for hours. She was sincerely beautiful. She was.

There are things in life better kept hidden deep inside, like dark memories best kept in the past, in the abbiss where they came from. Sometimes, when I lay in my bed, these thoughts flow through my head as I unconsciously replay the memories. It's almost as if I was still there, as if I could still feel a light autumn chill down my neck, as if I could still hear the leaves cracking as I find myself looking down on her d-

"Yo, Stevy boy! Seriously? Mom is gonna be sooo mad when she finds out you've been sleeping this whole time! You better pack your bags. We're leaving town."

Note:
Hey guys,
I'm super duper new to this so please don't come for me. English also isn't my first language so if I make any mistakes, please do point them out politely so I can correct them. Thank you!
Xoxo
Alias