When Half of the World Fall Asleep

03: It just leaves you there, quiet and accepting.

03: IT JUST LEAVES YOU THERE, QUIET AND ACCEPTING.
written by aby wanders
published 2019

It's a pandemic, they said. It has been happening two months before Jimin slept and never woke up. It started in a small city in Middle East and spread to the east. It was like an airborne virus that nobody know how to stop. Nobody could trace the symptoms of it. It just happens, to anyone. A lot of people, mostly conspiracists, speculated it must be the aliens. Religious people said it's a punishment. Normal people said it's a damn pain in the ass.

We called it "The Old Age death". When the death count raised the bar, world class doctors united to find the cause and the cure for it. Many said it's a hopeless project, because it wasn't a disease to start with. It's a curse. The doctors claimed that it would take a long time to study the Old Age death, so they resorted to spreading a specific drug to somehow reduce the death toll.

That specific drug is Meth. When I found out about it I laughed maniacally. Who ever thought a drug that's been banned for years, the drug that ruined a lot of lives, is now the only thing that will keep people alive?

You see, Meth causes Insomnia. It could keep you awake for days. The doctors strictly prohibited using it twice a month, as it may result to addiction. They said if the drug wears off early, like on the second week of the month, excessive drinking of caffeine could be the last resort.

As Meth helped tons of people, the death percentage though didn't fluctuate. It helped people, sure. But those who are only deemed worthy to survive. People who didn't have enough penny to afford Meth, had to resort to caffeine and energy drinks only. The combination of the two beverages somehow worked for poor people. But for a short time only. Because too much of it causes cardiac arrest.

There were now two things that accompanied the curse. Death by caffeine overdose and meth overdose.

Somewhere between the two happened to Jungkook.

When Jungkook died, he was in his room alone. The five of us decided to stay together even if we were given an emergency break. Nobody really spoke about it, but we all knew we wanted to be there for each other when we take our last breath. The more we want to be with each other when we survive the apocalypse.

We tried so hard to keep each others awake. We do round shots of meth once a month together. Jin hyung prepares the coffee we have to drink three times a day, making sure that it won't be more than 10 g— as it is the alarming amount that results to caffeine overdose. When we give ourselves a 30 minutes sleep each day, one keeps an eye and check on our breathing. This setup made us even more closer but sadder than ever.

Days went by and turned into months, we have made progress in handling our grief. Jimin and Hobi's room are still intact. We didn't move anything since they left. When we miss them, we just visit their room and cry. Sometimes I talk inside the room and act like Jimin is still there. I tell him how much I love his voice and how I wanted to write so many songs for him to sing to. I always cry during those parts. When I go into Hobi's room, I just lie on the bed and hug one of his pillows. Hobi smelled so good for a man. I liked how he was so tidy and clean. He was so domesticated. Silence just fills the room as I try to remember Hobi's laugh and the way his mouth shapes into a heart when he's happy. Then I imagine how anywhere he is, he could be smiling still. And then I end up smiling too.

Namjoon goes to his therapist every day to talk about it. That's where he is most comfortable. Sometimes Jin hyung ask me to go fishing with him just to take his mind off everything. Jungkook plays Overwatch and focused more on his GCF's. Taehyung visits his girlfriend often, and sometimes brings her to our loft to look out for her. Everybody seemed like they had found their coping mechanism.