I'm.. Astounded that mental health isn't more widely taught.
I'm.. Sad that it's not more understood.
It's so lonely being depressed.
You think there's something wrong with you because the rest of the world is fine.
No flames.
There must be something wrong with you.
And even when you find a person going through mental health you still feel alone.
You know what I hate most? Rumors.. Why do people feel the need to spread mean things about other people whether it's true or not? Rumors can destroy a person. Rumors can push people off the edge of their psychosis.
Rumors are impenetrable because the more a rumor is spread, the more it becomes your word against 10's-100's. And that's when you truly feel alone because people will leave because they can't chose to trust and those who stay will always doubt and often become a rumor spreader themselves.
You know that no one truly knows you and no one truly ever will.
And that, is why you end up feeling alone.
Ontop of that, people's opinions begin to matter a lot more to you. Who knows what smallest thing could make someone kick it out of proportion. It becomes a me vs them perspective. You never know who it could be next to turn against you. Which one out of the lovely faces could turn sour.
It's terrifying, this world we live in...Is terrifying.
You're scared to love. You're scared to be lewd. You're scared to be anything other than a saint. And yet no amount of goodness from you can change a thing.
The truly wicked are the ones that get away with it all. The ones that spit and bite and fight and swear and tear you limb from limb while you tell yourself you can bare it, you can bare it YOU CAN BARE IT. I AM STILL Alive.
Not one person would stand up to someone being cruel and say "Hang on, that's not yours to say", no, they laugh and they bicker and they stretch the story half a mile, half a million cackles that would cost just a smile, and a soul... And a voice, silenced forever under all the lies and the noise.
Its funnier if they dont look back and wonder, why the person who starred in their stories of wit, is sitting on the floor covered in spit.
Only to wonder why, why is one truth less valuable than a million lies.
And yet to show any anger, any fight at all, would put you in a worser place overall.
It's for the reactions, the reactions they say so sit still and don't move, maybe it'll go away. And yet I've been playing this game for 9 odd years and I've been reduced to blinking while the rest of my soul rots away.
