Room 303

Chapter 18

                                   Rachel

  The next day Rachel beamed happily for the first time since her arrival to the asylum. She was waiting for Kevin. He must be on his way to save her from all this. She wondered what suit he would be wearing. He knows she loves it when he suits up. She let her thoughts drift away. She imagined him wearing the black suit with the wine coloured shirt that she loved, topped with the black striped tie that she bought him as a Christmas gift. She will finally be able to see her daughter again. Be back at her house and appreciate the simple aspects of life that she always took for granted. She promised herself to never complain anymore, and to take advantage of every waking moment with her family. That day, Maria walked in with a tray in her hand, and found Rachel seated at the edge of her mattress smiling warmly at her.

  "What has gotten into you?" Asked Maria suspiciously.
  "What do you mean?"
  "I mean why the hell are you smiling at me? You never smile."
  "I do. You just never saw me smiling," she added.
  "What is the reason behind this smile?" She asked laying the tray on the ground about a meter away from Rachel.
  "Nothing much, just had a good night sleep. Never had one since I was admitted to this place."

  "Good. Here, eat your food before it gets cold. You know what to do once you are finished." She gently pushed the tray towards Rachel.
  "Can I go out to the garden today?"
  "Today is not your day you know that."
  "I know. I just feel like it. Can you please get me permission?"
  "I will see about that, now eat your food," said Maria irritated.
  "I have never asked you for anything before. Please just consider it.   
  I know you don't like me, but you can consider it a good deed towards a patient," said Rachel hoping she would get what she asked for. Maria stayed silent for a while considering Rachel's plea.

  "Eat" she then said as she left the room. Rachel crossed her fingers and hoped for her prayers to be answered. She wanted out of this place as soon as possible. She waited patiently for Kevin, counting every passing minute.

  Three days have passed, and there was no sign of Kevin. Rachel got agitated. She knew something was wrong. Kevin would not abandon her. He would come and save her if something hasn't come up. Her mind began to play tricks with her. Could something have happened to Kelly? Is Kevin alright? Why hadn't he come yet? Something must have gone wrong. Many bad thoughts crossed her mind despite her trying to stay positive. Maybe Kevin had come to visit, but doctor Steven sent him away. She was certain that she spoke to Kevin. That was not an illusion. She was sure all that she experienced was real. At least it felt real. Could I be hallucinating? This can't be happening. I am sure I spoke to Kevin. It must have been real. I am losing my mind. Rachel felt sick to her stomach at the thought of all this being a hallucination. She couldn't bare losing her one and only possible chance to escape. She had to talk to Kevin again. She had to find out if he was fine, but how would she do that? She had to come up with a plan. She started plotting for a way to sneak up to doctor Steven's office, but every time she came up with a plan, it turned out to be a failure once she tried to simulate it in her mind. All her plans were only going to get her caught. She marched up and down the room in despair. Every minute she wasted in the room, lowered her chances to escape.

  Later that day, doctor Steven visited Rachel in her room.
  "You must be relaxed without the straitjacket I suppose. You have a spacious room here don't you agree?"
  "You can take my place and stay here if you like the room that much," said Rachel.
   "You don't seem in a good mood today. Is something the matter?" Asked doctor Steven.
  "Why are you here?"
  "I am your doctor. Did you forget that?"
  "That is not the reason you're here."
  "You are a clever girl. I give that to you."
  "Don't treat me like a child. I am not one."
  "My apologies. No harm intended."
  "Then why are you here?"
  "I wanted to accompany you personally from your room to the therapeutic room. That is how I like to call it."
  "What is that room?"

  "Oh nothing special. Just a room where all your sorrows would be buried, and your brain will feel at ease. You would feel as light as air or as heavy as a stone. It all depends on how stubborn your brain is."
  "You are making no sense."
  "I am afraid I have to speak the language of the insane in order to make sense don't I?"
  "I am not crazy!" She snapped.
  "Easy now Rachel. You need to be obedient if you want me to write a good report about you," he said tapping his index finger on the notepad he had in hand.

  Rachel backed down. She didn't want to make things worse. As much as she wished she could rip him apart, she had to keep her temper in check if she was to get out of the asylum as soon as possible. Rachel noticed two huge figures standing by the door. They looked like bouncers from a night club. She knew they were here to drag her by force in case she resisted. There was no point in losing random energy. It was a losing battle for her.
  "Come on nice and slow," he said offering a hand to help her get up. Rachel ignored him and forced herself up and marched out of the room.

  They both walked down the corridor with the big men tagging along. She was taken into the room that she had been in weeks earlier. She recognised the setting, but couldn't make up all the details. Her mind was fuzzy back then. She remembered the experience she had the last time she was strapped on the bed. The memory made her tremble. She noticed Patrick standing in the back of the room agitated.
  "Get on the bed," ordered doctor Steven.
  Rachel hesitated. She was scared of what was to come.

  "Come on, get on. You don't want to cause a commotion do you?" He said while gesturing towards the men.
  Rachel followed the orders and was strapped onto the bed.
  "Is that necessary?" She asked.
  "Don't worry, they are just there to keep you steady."
  "What are you going to do to me?"
  "Your tests came back to be a little alarming, so we need to carry out some tests of our own. Here in this room." He fitted a big round metal ring around her head.
  "What is this you are putting on my head? You are going to electrocute me aren't you? I don't want this, get me out of here!"
Sweat formed on her forehead and throughout her body. She was scared. She knew what was about to come. She let the tears flow down like a river.
  "Calm down my dear. This is called electroconvulsive therapy. It is meant to make you better not worse."
  "Why do I need it? I am taking the pills and they are working just fine."
  "You are not responding to the pills effectively. Your body is not responding to them as needed, so we had to approach plan B."

  "There must be something else you can do." Rachel was trying to move her arms and legs to free herself from the tongues of the belts holding her down on the bed.
  "Just keep calm," he injected her with anaesthesia.
  "Now count backwards. I gave you a mild dose because I want you to feel the pain Rachel. I want you to experience what it feels like to be punished when you misbehave in here."
  His words were coming to her from afar, and she felt sluggish. She was hung between life and death. Between sleeping and waking. It all felt weird to her. Her chest tightened. She could still feel her surrounding, but unable to move a muscle. 

  "There...you...go...good...girl." His voice was very far.
  Rachel's eyes were heavy. She couldn't keep them open. He gagged her mouth with a rubber ball to prevent her from biting down on her tongue. Few seconds later, Rachel could feel a strong bolt of electric shock fired into her brain and body at what felt like the speed of light. The pain was intense. She could feel her brain frying up on the inside. Her whole body trembled up and down violently on the bed within the limits of the straps. She felt herself disconnect from her surrounding. She had lost consciousness, and drifted into complete darkness.