𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 ✔

Chapter Twenty-One

Monday was as rough as I thought it was going to be. I ended up staying in my room until dinner and even then, I cannot recall if I spoke a single word at the table. I felt like I was viewing myself doing things at a distance rather than actually doing them myself.

The numbness that took over since his death had started to thaw and feelings I had wished to have forgotten started to surface. I regretted suppressing all the emotions that I had since then, they were all too overwhelming to feel altogether at once. Though, I was not alone. Alveary sat with me on the love seat in my room, as I would go through spurts of tears every once in a while, never leaving my side.

Though, no matter how upset and sad I was, I also laughed. I felt more than just hurt as I told Alveary stories about the silly things me and Papa had done over the years, I also felt the joy. I did not want to think of pain and heartache when I thought of him, but I knew it would take time before I could recall memories of him without my heart feeling like it was breaking all over again.

Tuesday Adam and I sat in the middle of the courtyard, like how Alveary and I had done previously, while we talked and got to know one another better.

He was a wonderful conversationalist. It was nice to be looked in the eye when spoken to and not looked through like how Sebastian had over the last eight years. The more time I spent around Adam the more I understood what exactly about him reminded me of Sebastian. It wasn't that Adam had been like him at all, it was that Sebastian had been pretending to be Adam the entire time.

It was like he based the man he wanted to be seen as by others off of Adam. He mimicked his smile, his speech, and posture. Yet what he had not understood at the time was, unlike Adam, Sebastian gave off this unsettling aura. He made everyone around him uncomfortable, even when he tried his best to be kind, you could still see the intense and intimidating fire in his eyes. Like a predator looking at its prey.

Which made me realize that I could not compare every man I met with Sebastian just because he had wronged me. It was not fair to Adam to pay for someone else's sins.

Week after week it was the same routine and, before we all knew it, we had grown rather comfortable. Almost a whole month had passed, and I had made no progress towards finding out more about the curse. Because, like the others, I had become captivated by him.

That Friday I had been outside looking at the gardens with Alveary watching as she painted some Lilies, when I got to see Adam alone with one of the other girls for the first time.

Justine and Adam were sitting in one of the many seating areas of the gardens when I noticed the two of them.

"Is that normally how it goes with you and him?" I asked continuing to watch the two.

"Hm?" Alveary looked up to see what I was talking about. "Oh, yes he tends to sit a good distance away from me. I never thought anything of it, why do you ask?"

"Because that is quite the distance to be sitting away from someone you have known for over a month. Not to mention he sits so close to me when we spend time together, I can almost hear him breathing." I raised an eyebrow.

"He sits next to you?" Alveary asked confused as she continued painting.

"Yes." I instantly regretted mentioning it.

"Does he look like he is in pain when he is around you? I have noticed his jaw is almost always clamped and there are times it seems like his nails are cutting his palms with how tightly he clenches his fists." She tapped the other end of the paint brush on her chin, then judged the size of the newest flower, that she had just started to add, with it and her thumb.