Steven Universe Fic (Season 2)

part 2 Chapter Five: Don't Care as Much

Steven stepped out onto the balcony, he was desperate for some fresh air, anything that could help distract him from his friends terrible condition.

The cool night air was better than nothing, he didn't exactly build a complete plan, but he hoped talking to Yellow and Blue might shed some light on what was going on. He let out a reluctant sigh at the thought, he hadn't spoken to them since Spinel's- well, funeral.

They didn't even know she had been healed, and as far as he knew, the pink gem was still very much afraid of them, she hadn't mentioned them at all since her return. He would have to go to homeworld on his own and just hope they wouldn't follow him back.

A small noise caught his attention, pulling him from his thoughts. Steven's eyes drifted toward the source, the gem of his thoughts stood a few feet away from him, wringing her pigtails slightly with her eyes planted on the ground.

"Hey, Spinel." He offered a somewhat forced smile, but she squirmed with discomfort, twisting her hair tighter while she mumbled to herself. She wasn't okay, but he didn't know why.

"What's wrong?" He asked, stepping from his perch to comfort her. Spinel hung her head sniffling and shaking slightly in front of him.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, shifting her feet awkwardly and keeping her gaze on the ground. Steven let out a small gasp, what did she need to be sorry for?

"Hey, it's okay-"

"No, it's not, I ruined everything- I'm stupid!" She retorted, a shudder causing her to lose what little composure she had left. Steven rested his hands over her shoulders and she trembled.

"You're not stupid, you just didn't know." He didn't know why she didn't know, he almost didn't want to. Right now though, she needed comfort.

"You were so mad.."

Right.

He had forgotten that he snapped at her, and bubbled her, it probably looked like some sort of punishment in her eyes. Guilt panged him slightly, he didn't intend to upset her, he just didn't want her to get hurt, he couldn't let her get hurt.
She shouldn't know that he was going to visit the Diamond's.

"I was just scared." He explained in a soft whisper, pulling her into a gentle embrace. "I didn't want to lose you too."

At this, Spinel seemed to tense, her disposition shifting to that far more different than guilt.

"Why don't you let me help you?" Her broken words caught him off guard, he ran a blank on what to say for a moment, a short moment, but she still noticed it.

"Because I worry about you." He answered nervously. It wasn't enough.
Spinel tugged herself away from his arms and moved past him, leaning over on the balcony to stare at the soft waves.
The fading light cast over her beautifully, Steven thought, he just didn't want to lose that.

"I'm not cracked, Steven." It was a partial truth, but Spinel didn't care to mention it. Steven sucked in an uneasy breath, he figured sooner or later she would confront him about his overbearing nature, he was somewhat hoping it would be explosive anger and not this unsettling nonchalance.

"I know that." He tried, smiling and moving to her side, though he didn't look at her, she'd be able to tell that he didn't care that she was fine, when at one point, one very terrible point, she wasn't.

"Then why do you keep acting like I'm gonna fall apart any second?"

There it was, the question he had been dreading since she came back. Steven quietly groaned in discomfort, he couldn't just answer it like that. He'd much prefer her to smack him upside the head or something along those lines, purely so he could avoid it.

It was easier to let her have a breakdown and comfort her than having to answer her probing questions.

"I just...care about you."

"Well, stop it." There was a bite to her words and Steven could tell they were tinged with self doubt. Spinel turned her head to look at him, a soft smile on her face, he nearly melted at the sight of it, and the way her eyes shined with admiration.

"Or just, don't care as much?"

Steven smiled back, and nodded slightly. He could try.