Steven Universe Fic (Season 2)

part 3 Chapter Two: Extended Stay

Spinel's heart dropped to her feet at the Diamond's words, losing nearly all the small confidence she had at the idea.
Steven noticed and raised his hands in preemptive apology.

"I don't think Spinel is ready-"

"No, it's fine!" She cut him off, ruining his hope for her to flagrantly turn down the offer, surely she couldn't actually handle staying with them for any longer than what was really required.

"Are you sure?" He asked, Spinel nodded slightly but he could see how she clearly wasn't making the decision with true confidence.

"Wonderful!" Blue clapped her hands at her words and smiled, glancing back at Yellow who didn't seem to partake in her joy. "We will convene after you've settled, I'll inform White right away!"

Blue and yellow pearl entered from seemingly nowhere at the Diamond's behest and shooed Spinel and Steven toward their room as Blue stood to leave.

"Spinel, you really don't have to do this if you don't want to." Steven mentioned quietly as the pearls led them down the familiar pink corridor. Spinel kept her eyes ahead as she stiffly followed them.

"I said it's fine." It was a lie. It wasn't fine, she hated ever second she was here, she hated the pink halls, she hated the memories, the idea of staying longer than needed. She hated every last bit of it.
But she had to do this. Right?
She had to make herself better, she had to be better. To make Steven know- make herself know, that she could do this.
This tiny, stupid thing, she could stay with the diamonds, diving in head first was the only way. Wasn't it?

Steven lowered his head, deciding it would be best to stay quiet. She was determined, he knew that much. But now he was concerned. He even had trouble being around the Diamonds, especially White, despite her current state. There was no way Spinel could hold out like this for much longer. And now he didn't want to see her slowly eat away at herself, forcing herself to do things she clearly wasn't ready for.

The Pearls stopped at the familiar pink doors, yellow pearl turned around gesturing for the two to enter with a small half salute.

"Your quarters, Pink Lasagna."

Steven's train of thought fell flat at the address and he couldn't help but laugh, he had forgotten his previous request to be addressed as such. Spinel glanced at him with confusion as he quieted down and entered the room.
How could he go in so easily?
Just..walk inside?
She stayed at the door as the pearls waited for her to enter, it was far harder than she was prepared for. She felt cemented to the floor, and Steven was merely walking around the room like nothing had taken place there whatsoever.
Like she hadn't spent days in there alone, trapped.

"Spinel?" His voice pulled her from the memory, and her eyes slowly met his. Spinel took a tentative step forward, into the threshold of some of her worst experiences.
Steven came near preparing to provide small comfort to her.

"It's alright, I'm here." His words didn't comfort her, and she pushed past him, rejecting his gentle hand as she moved toward the small desk and mirror. Spinel traced her fingers along the table top, and hesitated as she picked up a small brush. Inspecting it somewhat before setting it down once more. It was nice, at first. Right?

She thought so, at least.

The memories were hazy, incomplete, perhaps from the times she was reset, perhaps because she was shattered. But she remembered how lovely it was at first, despite the lingering fear that she was just a toy.
She was.
That was all she ever was, a replacement toy, never anything more, never better. Maybe that was why they stopped caring.

"It's hard..." she whispered softly, "being here."

She turned to Steven, looking far less scared than before, only sad, like it could have had a better ending. Like she wanted a better ending.
Steven offered a hesitant smile, hoping it would provide something for her.

"I know, I was here too." He replied, thinking back on the days he spent here as well, the way he was treated. Spinel shook her head and sat down on the small chair at the desk.

"I wish-" she thought, not sure if what she was saying made any sense. "I wish it went differently."

Steven looked down at the floor at her words, part of this was his fault. He knew it, he knew she did too. He changed things, he let her stay with them, and she got hurt because of it- in so many terrible ways.
She got hurt because of him, he didn't even truly know the extent of it, aside from her small explanation, she never brought it up, ever.
And now they were here, in Pink's room, recalling some of the worst of it quietly without even mentioning how much it pained them to be there.

"I'm sorry." It was all he could say, but it would never be enough. Spinel smiled falsely.

"It's fine.." another lie.