Tough Love (Completed)

Chapter - 9

Beth

The blood drains out of Dean's face and he goes pale. He then rushes out of the office like his ass is on fire. I watch him storm away to the exit confused at his reaction. What did the hell happen? I wonder and try to recall my words. I replay the conversation in my head and in horror realize what I said.

I jump out of the seat and follow him to the stairs, but he has already gone. I run downstairs but don't see him. I ask the receptionist and she confirms that Dean didn't come down. So I run back up to the top floor and find him sitting on a bench in the terrace. He is bent down clutching his hair with his fingers. I walk slowly to him and take a seat next to him. I am out of breath from all the running and it alerts him as soon as I sit closer to him.

Dean immediately straightens up and puts distance between us. A pang of guilt hits me. He rests his hips on the parapet wall and looks at me. He looks lost, defeated and scared and his voice shakes when he says,

"I thought you wanted it. I thought you were okay. I am sorry. I would never take advantage of you Bee. I am sorry. I just...".

He stops mid-sentence and looks out at the horizon thinking hard. I want to get closer to him and give him a hug but I sense he is guarded now and wants his space.

"I wanted it.", I admit though I want to deny giving into Dean. From the moment, I stepped into his office, my heart has been thudding like I ran a marathon. Dean had set the temperature low as always yet I felt hot and bothered. I can't stop looking at his muscular physic. I blame the suit. He looks extremely sexy and oozes confidence in his tailored grey suit which fits him like a second skin and driving me crazy. It took everything in me to stop myself from jumping his bones when he was so close. But, when he slowly stripped his tie and rolled his sleeves, my mind went haywire and all I could think about was kissing him.

Dean had always been my weakness. I remember why I left all those years ago. Just a few glances and caresses from him and I am putty in his arms. Even after all these years, he still has an effect on me but I won't give in this time. I am older, mature and have built a life for myself. I won't let him control me.

"You didn't force me. I wanted it. I wanted to kiss you", I say and Dean visibly relaxes.

"Those were the same words the girl who accused me of raping her said. At that time, I spent most of my days partying and didn't give an f*ck about anything else. I was angry at the world, dad and you. I f*cked anyone who was willing and didn't even have the courtesy to get their names. It was all beer and sex. Everything was a blur. I don't remember that night and I wish I remembered. There is a part of me that's afraid I did those things to her and my dad paid her off to say a different story. I feel there is a monster lurking inside me and it will show its ugly head if I lose control. I lost control with you today. I couldn't see past the need to have you.", Dean says looking vulnerable and hurt. I have never seen Dean like this before. He looks so lost..

I negate my own resolve to give him space and step closer to him. I cup his cheeks and press my lips to him in a quick peck. I have the strong need to reassure him that he is not the monster he doubts he is. I have seen monsters, sexual predators who don't care about anything else but their own pleasure. But Dean is nothing like them.

Many girls encounter such shitty humans in their lives at least once. My encounter with such evil was in Berlin when I was backpacking. Troy was a fellow backpacker, I met in Austria and we decided to travel together to Germany. He seemed like a nice guy and after a few days, we started a relationship. Everything was going fine until one night he wanted rough sex. He said he wanted to introduce me to the world of pain and pleasure. I was a naive 19-year-old who was ready to explore new things so I let him tie me up. Initially, it was just spanking and calling me names which itself was not sitting well with me. Why should I be called " wh*re" and "sl*t" when I am not? Then, he got aggressive and started slapping, choking and hurting me. I asked him to stop and told him that I didn't enjoy it but he won't. He repeated said I have to stop thinking and enjoy the pain. When I realized he has no intention of stopping, I screamed and luckily the people in the next room called the hotel security and I was rescued before he could do any real damage. When I begged him to stop, I saw the darkness in his eyes which only cared about his own pleasure, not my suffering.