Blame

Chapter 13 (Her)

        The room was getting colder because the generators refused to kick in, so Max sat against the wall wrapping her arms around her. The alcohol warmed her up but only for a little bit. She looked around and observed everyone else. Katie was still in deep conversation with Adam and Fredrick, but the other Grizfolk boys looked exhausted.

        Billy's head was slouched on his chest and his legs outstretched on the table in front of him. Woody was passed out on the other sofa and although the room was cold, Max could feel herself dozing off. Her head kept bobbing up and down and her eyes forcefully closing. 

        "Hey, you can...," Dan motioned towards his shoulder, telling her it was okay to lay down. Max considered it for a moment, but slowly began lowering her head onto Dan's shoulder. She closed her eyes and hundreds of memories rushed towards her. His smell, his warmth and his closeness was too overwhelming. She didn't expect to, but she began crying. At first it was silent tears, but then a sob sat in her lungs and she knew she was going to explode. Max sat up and got up from the floor. With one glance at her, Dan realized she wasn't alright.

        "Max, what's going on?" He stood up too and followed her. Katie and a couple of the guys looked up to look at the commotion across the floor.

        "It's...it's too much." Max cried and began walking out of the room. Katie noticed, and called after her friend but after Dan followed Max, Katie decided to give them some space.

        "Max, wait! We need to talk about this!" Dan yelled after her and grabbed her arm.

        "What is there to talk about?!" She yelled back at him, furiously wiping her face.

        "This! I...I don't know what happened and I have no fucking clue how to fix it!" Dan stared at her with wide eyes, trying to control his voice, but it was getting harder.

        "There was nothing to fix, Dan. All that was needed was for either of us to get up off our ass and fight for the other. That's all, and neither of us was willing to make sacrifices." Max said back loudly, getting more angry than frustrated.

        "Why didn't you fight for us, Dan?" She whispered this time.

        "I...why didn't you stay?" He answered meekly.

        "Don't look at me as if I'm the only one responsible for this." 

        She shook her head and closed her eyes.

        "This is it, Dan. This is why we can't be together, because we keep pointing fingers, and we're not getting anywhere...,"

        "Max, I really do love you. I don't know what to do." He lowered his head in utter defeat and Max looked at him with pity. Before anything else could be said, the lights switched on and the hallway was lit. They looked at each other with hurt and with pain, but nothing else could be said. Nothing could be said to salvage their relationship.

        "Hey Max...the power is on. Are you ready to go?" Katie asked Max, sticking her head around the corner. 

        "Are you crazy? The power is on but the roads are still shit. You can't go anywhere!" Kyle remarked, standing beside her. Max finally walked past Dan and joined Katie by the door. Dan went back into the room to cool off.

        "We don't really have another choice." She commented.

        "Well, I mean we're not going anywhere. You can stay here with us, like the good old times." Kyle elbowed Max with a smile. Katie's eyes lit up, and Max knew there was nothing else they could rationally do.

        "I suppose we don't have another option." She sighed.

        "Awesome! I don't know about any of you, but I'm starving!" Kyle said and the other boys nodded.

        "Alright, so obviously the power is on, but we can't leave. They're going to clear out the roads over night, but it's supposed to snow steadily through out the night anyway." Martin came up behind them and made the announcement. 

        "We have the tour buses ready though, so you all can pitch a tent in there." He continued. 

        "We have these ladies joining us, since they're stuck like us." Kyle said.

        "Do what you want." Martin waved his hand and walked off again. They all began packing up and Katie and Max joined close behind, walking towards the buses.

        "Hey, what happened with you and Dan?" Katie asked quietly.

        "Nothing good. We didn't get anywhere. It's the same old, you know?" Max answered trying not to start crying again. Katie placed a reassuring hand on her arm, and they walked silently behind the boys. Before they went on the bus, Kyle ordered a couple of pizzas at the concession stand.

        Outside, Seattle was covered by complete darkness and a white blanket. The air was chilly and the girls intertwined arms to keep in heat. They followed Will and Woody up the steps into one of the buses, being welcomed by warmth.

        "This is more like it." Will commented as he settled into a seat beside the window.

        "So this is how you all travel?" Katie asked, looking around the relatively spacious bus. They boys nodded and began telling her about their many adventures on the bus and the places they travelled on it.

        Max sat against a window, staring out into the wintry world.

        "Hey." Kyle nudged her and sat across from her. She blinked at him without a word.

        "So, your spat with Dan sounded nasty...,"

        "It was pretty nasty." She shook her head.

        "Look," Kyle exhaled, trying to collect his thoughts.

        "Before the tour, Dan wasn't doing very well, you know? I told him to get his shit together and focus on the job in front of him, or to go to you and figure it out, because either way he was being miserable."

        "Why are you telling me this?" Max stared at him with confusion.

        "Because the moment he saw you again, it's like he was instantly trasported to two months ago. My point is, he's not over you. And neither are you. I think you all need to get over yourselves and tell one another how you feel." Kyle finished and stared pointely at her. Max just looked at him in disbelief.

        "Kyle you have no fucking idea what's between me and Dan, you don't know anything. So don't you dare sit there and tell me what I should do." She glared at him and got up; before she could walk away Kyle tried to grasp her wrist, but she quickly walked away, out of the bus.

        Standing outside, on the crunchy snow she allowed the cold air to collect in her lungs. Max closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Today was such a mess, everything was falling apart by the minute. The last two months of her trying to move on and hold it together has all gone to shit at the sight of Dan, and she didn't know what to do anymore.