Blame

Chapter 25 (Her)

        Max's mind rattled as she made her way through the pub, bumping along people and bodies she did not know. Finally, the doors were in sight and she broke free into the fresh air, gulping it, trying not to cry. She heard her name behind her, but she wanted to run away from it. So she walked faster down the street and then around the corner and then around another corner, and only when she didn't hear the voice anymore did she slow down and lean against a building.

        She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. Why was she acting like this, as if she was still with Dan, as if there was any potential? Max needed to move on and she even had an idea of how she could do that. When Joey pulled her away to talk to her, she had noticed how he flirted and at first she was hesitant, she enjoyed the attention and she enjoyed getting her mind off of Dan. She didin't know what she wanted from him, their relationship was nothing but chaos and constant drama.

        Max noticed herself shivering due to the cold, and she began walking. After a while she came up to a public square and sat down on a bench, overlooking a canal. 

        She needed to make a decision and she needed to make it now. If she was really going to move past Dan, she needed to not overreact like this. Max was here because Martin offered her a job and that is what she is going to do. Now she is working with Joey and there could be potential there.

        "Max!" A voice yelled behind her and she quickly turned around and met Kyle face-to-face. He finally reached her bench, out of breath.

        "Damn Max. I could barely catch up." Kyle sat beside her, breathing heavily.

        "Or maybe you're just out of shape." Max offered a lame insult. He stuck a middle finger in the air and took a couple moments to catch his breath. 

        "Did Dan send after me?" She asked with a little bit of bitterness. 

        "No, no. He was going to go after you but he was in no state, so I ran after you." Kyle finally looked at her.

        "Yeah I guess this is kind of embarrassing." Max shook her head and avoided his look.

        "Nah, I guess it's a natural reaction if you still had feelings for him." Kyle commented. Max furrowed her brows and looked at him sharply.

        "No, I don't have any feelings for him. I...I don't."

        "You should repeat that a few more times, maybe then you'll believe yourself." Kyle smirked and Max had enough of his snarky comments. She got up and began walking away.

        "God Max, just wait up." He caught up with her and they walked in silence back to the flat.

        "You don't have to babysit me." She said as they entered the building.

        "I know. The party was winding down anyway." Kyle said but she knew better. He wanted to make sure she was okay. But she was still midly upset at him.

        Once they got inside, Max kicked off her shoes and went straight to the bathroom. Standing underneath the hot shower, she allowed herself to cry. This was the only place to do so afterall. Max was angry at herself for making it such a big deal, but seeing Dan kissing another girl, as meaningless as it was, still hurt her.

        But if he was moving on from her, she needed to move on from him.

        Max dried herself and put on a loose flannel and leggings. She escaped to the room before Dan came back and buried herself in her bed. It was almost three in the morning and although she was physically exhausted, she was mentally alert. Thoughts and ideas floated around, making her toss and turn. Max picked up her phone and found a text message from Amy, "hey babe. just checkin in. call me if u need 2 talk. xx" Max almost began dialing, but then she heard a knock outside her door and closed her eyes shut, thinking she could ignore it and it would eventually go away.

        "Max, I know you're not sleeping. We need to talk." She recognized the slurring voice of Dan's. She also heard Kyle trying to make Dan go away.

        "Come on mate. Talk tomorrow. Let's go." 

        "No, no I need to talk to her now!" Dan's voice got louder and he began knocking on the door again, this time harder. Max sighed and got up. Might as well get this over with.

        "Max...I...uh, I'm sorry about what happened at the pub." Dan stumbled with his words and rubbed his face with his hand.

        "You don't need to apologize Dan. We're not dating anymore and it was me who overreacted. I'm sorry." Max said, trying to keep her voice steady. Dan gave her a confused look and opened his mouth to speak but Max cut in.

        "We're making each other miserable, Dan. We broke up, we're over and yet we still seem to not be able to let it go--,"

        "Max maybe it's because we're meant to be together. I don't understand why you're resisting it." Dan almost lost his balance but Kyle held him steady, not wanting to listen to the conversattion, but he needed to support Dan or else he was going to fall over. 

        "I understood tonight that we're not supposed to be together and we need to move past it."

        "Why?! Because of that kiss?! It meant nothing! I kissed her, Max, in attempt to forget about you. Because you are all I think about!" Dan all but yelled and Kyle began pulling him away. Max's voice caught in her throat, and she stood there staring at this drunk boy with whom she fell in love a year ago. Why was she being so stubborn?

        "Mate, we need to go." Kyle tried a little more forcebly.

        "Max, I love you." Dan said and at this point she lost it. Max turned around and went back into the room, shutting the door tightly. She crawled back in bed and began crying. God, she was such a mess. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was going to be a better day. She was going to see Joey and start her new job and not have to be around Dan all the time. She was going to get better.