missed you | twojae

EIGHT

YOUNGJAE.

Youngjae stared at himself in the mirror in disgust. He hated himself. Everything about him. How could he ruin Jaebum's reputation. He couldn't bear to open his social media in fear to only be attacked by hate and more hate.

The comments that he read just now flooded in his head and he felt a tear fall down his cheek and onto his shirt. He sobbed and looked down on the floor. Did he deserve it? Maybe. The hurting words stabbed him directly on his heart.

He just wanted to die.

Youngjae frantically opened his drawers and took the sharpest blade he could find in it. He took the small piece of metal and lifted his sleeves. He glanced at every cut that was healing and the ones which were still bleeding or haven't recovered fully. With shaking hands, he lifted his hand to add a fresh cut on his arm. Youngjae winced at the sting but continued going. He wanted everything to be over.

" Youngjae? Are you okay in there? I don't hear any water running, " He heard Jaebum's voice from outside the door.

Youngjae jolted and instantly kept the blade before rolling down his sleeves. It stings a lot but he endured it before unlocking the door. He saw Jaebum standing there with a worried expression on his face.

" What were you doin- Oh my god, Youngjae. W-What's this? " The elder's eyes trailed down onto his sleeves which were partially covered in red patches.

" I-I... "

Jaebum lifted the sleeves and gasped. The fresh cuts were bleeding so much. Jaebum looked up to face the younger but he looked down, tears falling down his face again.

" Youngjae... Why? Why did you do this? You promised me that you wouldn't do this again! " Jaebum asked, his tone filled with anger.

Youngjae sniffled, tears falling profusely, " I-I'm sorry Jaebum. I'm so so sorry. "

Jaebum's mad expression softened as he noticed how broken he sounded. How could he not notice earlier? He was hurt. Jaebum sighed and lifted the sweeped the younger up bridal style, careful not to hit the younger's arm before bringing him to the living room and lying him down.

Youngjae watched with glassy eyes as Jaebum made his way to the kitchen, opening cabinets to find a first aid kit box. He found one at one of the top shelves and immediately brought it to the younger.

Jaebum didn't say a word as he treated his wounds. He was gentle when he cleaned it. Youngjae flinched when Jaebum applied antibacterial cream on the wounds and wrapping a bandage over it afterwards.

Jaebum took the younger by surprised when he lifted him up and placed him on his lap, the younger straddling him. Youngjae buried his face in the crook of his neck as Jaebum slowly carressed his back.

" It's okay, Youngjae-ah. Just tell me slowly. Why did you start to do this again? " Jaebum whispered.

" I-I was hurt. Even before all this happen. When you left. I was hurt. I felt l-lonely once again. I-I loved you J-Jaebum. More than a friend. And I s-still do. I loved you m-more than anything. I o-overcomed that h-horrible feeling by... c-cutting myself, " Youngjae poured his feelings out, silently crying.

Jaebum stayed silent. His brain still trying to process what he said. Youngjae loved him? God, he felt really stupid. Jaebum pulled away to make Youngjae face him.

" Youngjae... I'm so sorry. I didn't know but I do now. First off, I'm sorry for hurting you mentally. It wasn't fair to you huh? Well, I'm very sorry. Now, " Jaebum held out his pinkie, " Promise me you won't cut or harm yourself purposely ever again. "

Jaebum stared at the younger with a pout. Youngjae giggled and intwined their pinkies together.

" Next, I'm gonna be honest to you. "

" I. "

" Love. "

" You. "

Youngjae's eyes widened. He felt his cheeks heating up. Was he dreaming? Jaebum looked at him with a smirk on his face before pulling the younger close to him and pressing a kiss onto his lips.

Youngjae gasped softly as the two made out right on his couch. Jaebum was again gentle on him. It felt perfect. Everything was perfect. The two pulled away for air but then stared at each other with a silly grin on their faces.

Youngjae felt happy for once in his life.