African Teens

Upside Down

Not that it matters to many but One day i hoped that i was gonna make it.
Out of this so called life I've been living, popular among the strayed teens who lost their way,despised among the ones who lost their loved ones in the process.
One day I'll surely have retired from this game because where I'm from it don't matter who's the devil and who's not its where you might end up in a grave just cause you know the name of some thug.And its no longer funny cause the cops joined and brought guns to the knife fights between the teens and the game is turning to a slaughter house which is suicide. So you better stay indoors because out here is a homicide.Teenagers are dying all up in my city,Mommas are crying and the number of bodies are increasing day and night or at least i thought i was gonna retire from it but well to be honest it seemed destiny has other plans for me and despite all the well wishes i had in thoughts for myself it didn't really look like things were working out for me.Well to be fair to others there's no one to blame for all of it but me for I could never be strict on my decisions and i often lost my path again and again.Although i wanted to make things right so bad in the end of it all i found me in the dark hole still.
I didn't wanna worry anyone anymore or someone interfering in my not so good life for that matter or having to share the burden of my life with anyone but i could never keep out of trouble and my life was barely personal anymore and a lot of people were already involved
I knew i was a piece of shit and it wasn't hard to tell and for quite sometime i was considered as the worst, Trouble after trouble from drugs to gangs, lying to my mom even stealing from her purse she probably wished she had an abortion instead of the abomination she gave birth to.
My mom probably didn't love me no more and was she to blame,not really am sure she's the last human that could give up on me but i do wonder if i died would tears come to her eye would she forgive me for my lies would she forgive me for my disrespect.
As long as I was trying maybe things would change as they say fortune knocks on every man's door but did i even have a door anymore
I'm the one that caused the tears and the hurting But I'm the one most hurting cause It was my own life's fate in the end and despite being in my hands I didn't have much control over it
And In this game the lessons never end and although it seems like you're gonna get it all right or that it was the last time you were in that shitty situation you just find your way back to it maybe in a different form maybe a different route but the results weren't much different in the end,it was more like a pig living the live of dung beetles did it matter which is more filthy the fact that its a big or that it living the life of the most filthy animal.What i mean to say is did it matter if you inhaled or if you injected or if you took it orally as long as it got to your system.
My life was almost just as shitty it didn't matter if i got in trouble intentionally or if i found myself where trouble already was or unintentionally invite it myself, In the end what mattered wasn't the means to how i got there but why i was just there anyway?
Well i thought i was doing fine for sometime and i was turning around my life for good but all the hopes and dreams were just about to come to an end in a blink of an eye.I swear i even considered killing myself at some point maybe slit my wrist maybe jump off a building During my time as a "strayed street kid"what they call my kind, I did almost everything that was considered as despicable according to both my culture and religion.Name a party in the city i was there,Name a drug going around i was there,Name a song that came out it was recorded in my head,Name a new hot chick in the area i made out with her,Name a hood in the city i had both an enemy and a friend over there,Name a robbery that took place in the area i definitely had a link or the other,Having a gun to my head quite a number of occasions.Well if i say am gonna name everything that i went through many wouldn't even believe i was still alive or i had any chance of healing or recovering from it.Well I'm alive and breathing and yeah i still had hopes to overcome all these hurdles some day.
But was there really any hope to recover from that especially now that the only two things i was proud of abstaining from could come to an end any second now.All of the things I mentioned above are considered "haram" which literally means forbidden acts according to islamic law.I'm a muslim moreover a "Somali"literally one of the most extremist people you would ever come across in terms of religion,Most of their culture is literally obtained from the religion and any act I mentioned up there,Engaging yourself in It meant going first against the culture then against the religion so it was basically two laws i broke in each of 'em.Well to go back to the two haram things I didn't do yet and was proud of(drinking alcohol and having sex)were now being threatened and what worried me more was like i was just on the edge of falling from the bridge anyway it was not like i was totally unfamiliar with them for the fact that for the alcohol i used most kind of the other drugs so i was just missing out on it and about the sex i already made out with more than I could possibly count and the only thing i was missing out was just the sex part and one thing i knew for sure if I tripped over and lost one of 'em I'm most likely to find me losing the other as well.It was a Saturday night and the night was very cold it was almost like it was certainly gonna rain.I wasn't feeling a-lot like going it was like i had this bad feeling telling me I wasn't supposed to leave I thought and thought bout it,I usually follow my instincts which in this case were telling me not to leave but then i finally dressed up anyway and went over to a friend's house where we were supposed to meet up before we left for the party, i was quite late and everyone arrived earlier.I was seeing quite a number of unfamiliar faces around but i was more excited to get to the party anyway and I didn't mind any of it.I usually didn't hang out with just anyone anymore due to the rough past i had with my peers but I decided to overlook it this time and go anyway.
We reached the party,met a couple of friends,said hi then i went over and sat at the table.I remember just looking around enjoying the scenery hunting for someone to keep me company through the night,Well dream come true there was coming this hot girl OMG what a beauty she was and I don't mean the face I didn't even get there.I was already salivating just from the looks and body shape i swear she was dressed to kill now she was getting real close to me and it seemed like she was walking towards the table i was sitting.As she came closer i got a gaze at her face and it was quite a familiar face she stopped just infront of me and she said "Hi Moha" I didn't know whether to be happy for the fact that she knew me or feel sad for not being able to recognize who she was.Hi there i said embarrassed not being able to even remember her name.The next question she asked was do you remember me?I was like yeah i do like know you but I don't really know how and from where.She smiled and said never mind it's been quite sometime maybe 2-3 years and that she changed quite a-lot no wonder i couldn't place her.She told me I didn't change much and then reminded me who she was.I did remember her but I couldn't believe my eyes did she really become this hot that I couldn't even recognize her.She had a crush on me some years back and I wasn't doing no love shit and I didn't care a-lot for she was one of the good gals then and i was a bad guy already.Well she was here now and dressed this way so it definitely wasn't the same girl i knew.She asked to join and I welcomed her with open arms,actually i would invite her myself if she didn't ask anyway.We chat for a while did a little bit of catch up.And she asked me to join her on a dance.It was one of my fav songs of all time "we own the night" which was playing and I couldn't resist such a hot girl in such a cold night so i joined her even before she finished asking.We were now holding hands and it was getting pretty intense as she leaned her back on my chest and the heat i was feeling down there you wouldn't guess.Well she told me she needed a drink shortly after that and we went over to the bartender and i asked her what she would drink,The answer she gave wasn't quite what I expected i was waiting to hear some kind of a cold drink but it wasn't the case and even though I can't say the name for sure I remember her saying make it two in the end.I knew in that very moment i was in for it that night for I couldn't let myself down and tell the girl who turned to fame way later than me that I couldn't drink so i just kept my mouth shut.She took out a cigar from her handbag and light it up as we waited for the bartender.After she took a few puffs she handed over and even though i did smoke cigar a couple of times i wasn't much of a smoker I'm more of a "stoner" for the few unfamiliar with that well for the those who burn the flowers of the banned herb they are called stoners,to be less confusing the weed smokers.Well my cigar was the natural plant from the ground and my liquor was (promethazine,codeine,purple lean)or any other name you might know it as. Well it seemed like it was gonna change overnight.And the usual me who was all about smoke weed and fly was about to drink and drive.We got the drinks I payed up and we left to get back to our table.I resisted taking a sip for quite sometime and the drink was just laying at the table for sometime as i kept myself busy with chatting until she said something to do with "Your drink is getting warm I guess I've been distracting you".Well i did get the point what she meant to say was c'mon start drinking what are you waiting for. I rem taking the drink poured it in a glass added some redbull drink then lifted the glass up and before i took a sip i was thinking in my head what would be the outcome of , "A horney me, a cold night, a hot chick and both of us drunk."And just as the glass touches my lips I ...........................

What do you think happened? Did i stop? Did i enjoy the taste?Did i lose the last bit of my better side?Was it all a waste of time? Was i ever gonna get a chance to recover from all of this?Was i always like this from the beginning and if not how did I end up like this?
More coming,.........