No Good Hoodlum

audrey's bun in the oven

(Post-Movie) 

Summary : a year after leaving Skidrow, Audrey has some news to share

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I awoke to the sound of vomiting for the fifth time this week. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, rushing to the bathroom. Audrey was slumped over the toilet, her blonde hair pulled in a clip.

"Audrey...this is the 5th time this week!" I exclaimed, "you should really get this checked out!"

"I don't know what's wrong with me! I go to bed feeling fine and the next mornin' I'm pukin' my guts out!" Audrey cried, before retching into the porcelain again.

"What have been your other symptoms?"

"My breasts have been sore, I'm always hungry, and I'm always tired."

"Your period, maybe? I know it sometimes gets pretty nasty."

"No! I skipped it this month!"

Audey's eyes widened and so did mine. We both knew what this could mean.

"We need to go get a pregnancy test," I said.

Audrey pouted. 

"But Seymour's at work! I told him we eva' had kids he'd be the first to know!"

"Audrey, I already know. What's the harm in taking a test now? Besides, then we can surprise him!"

She pondered for moment.

"Ya, I guess ya're right. Let's go."

I squealed excitedly as we climbed into our little blue bug. The drive to the drugstore was anxiety ridden. If this was bad, I can't imagine how the drive back will be. 

The Greenville drugstore was quiet, placed between a beauty parlor and men's suit store. I laughed silently, imagining a beauty parlor in Skidrow. Thinking of Skidrow conflicted me. On one hand, I missed it, but on the other hand, I'd be cold and homeless.

Audrey and I entered the drugstore.I was close with the owner, as I had worked a small job here before I went back to school (it was currently summer break, which is why I'm waking up to the sound of vomit and not an alarm clock)

"If it isn't Penny Krelborn, my favorite ex employee!" exclaimed Mr. Jonstaxi, the owner of the drugstore.

"Hi, Mr. Jonstaxi," I said, glad to see my former boss so happy these days. He was a grumpy man when I first met him, as his wife had run out on him. He had a daughter a few years younger than me (Esme) who was as cute as a button. I helped babysit her many times.

"What is it you need today?" Jonstaxi asked, coming from behind the counter.

"A pregnancy test."

"Lordy! I've seen some young mothers but none this young? Who's the father?"

I blushed bright red.

"It's for Audrey!" I exclaimed, blushing. 

"OH! Well, then, let me get on that!"

I located Audrey in the magazine section, gazing at a Better Homes and Garden Magazine. She looked so peaceful. Ever since moving here, her face had become brighter and more devoid of makeup, since she didn't have any bruises to cover up. I could now notice a few small, faint freckles peeking up on her skin.

"Hey, Audrey, Jonstaxi got the test," I whispered.

Audrey snapped out of her trance and smiled at me, but I could see the nervousness in her eyes.

"Penny, what if I'm a bad motha?" Audrey whispered. She looked terrified.

"You won't be. You've been a great mother to me," I said.

"Really?"

"Really."

We exited the aisle, but not before I fell over and knocked some magazines off a shelf. Oh, the struggles of having no balance. A couple of girls saw me and laughed. I flushed bright red and scurried off.

Jonstaxi gave us the test for free, and I laughed at how unlike Mushnik he was. Mushnik would've found a way to make it worth double.

"Good luck, Mrs. Krelborn!" Jonstaxi yelled as we exited the store.

We checked the clock and my eyes widened. It was now two thirty, and Seymour came home around four.

"We hafta leave or we won't have time!"

I dragged Audrey to the car and we went hurtling back to our little tract house.

Fifteen minutes later, our suspicions were confirned. Audrey had a baby Krelborn in her belly.

"How are we gonna tell him?" I asked, sitting at the kitchen table while Audrey chopped vegetables.

"I have an idea," Audrey said smirking.

We tried to act as nonchalant as possible when Seymour got home. We were both shaking with nerves. Seymour didn't seem to suspect anything, however.

"So, how was you girl's day?" Seymour asked at dinner that night.

"Oh lovely! We visited town for a bit," I said, leaving out the part where we went to a drugstore to get a pregnancy test.

"I'M PREGNANT!" Audrey burst out.

I cringed. I knew she couldn't keep the secret very much longer.

"Audrey...y-you're pregnant?" Seymour asked. The room got quiet. I started to panic.

"Yah..."

"That's fantastic!" 

Seymour leapt out of his seat and kissed Audrey on her cheek. I smiled. In a few months, I would be getting my own sibling.