Two Birds, One Stone

29. Far Fetched

Trigger Warning: very very (very) brief mention of suicide

it's 2 am and i work tomorrow and i've done no homework and i wanna hdxblwdisjkiolk

to those of you who don't know, i'm a liar and this isn't the last chapter bc it would have been like 1300 words (for reference, this is 7000) and nobody wants that. just editing this one has seriously damaged my sanity. next one will be the last

also if you couldn't tell by now i love cmbyn

@ net i referenced the crackheads somewhere and if you don't comment at the right spot i'm dropping our <3 on sc

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We gave it more than a minute.

     "Liam?" Jamie said after what could have been a year of us standing like that, holding each other like there was nothing else we could do. If it was a year, it was the best year of my life.

     "Hm?" I hummed by his ear, pressing a soft, smiling kiss to the skin there.

     "You're leaving in a few hours."

     I leaned back to look at him, the stupid-happy light never flickering from my face. His hair, dark from the rain, clung to his forehead, so I pushed it back so I could see his whole face when I said, "You're crazy if you think I care about California right now. Just say the word and I'll stay."

     Bryan would have Vanessa in California. Jamie could have me here.

     But Jamie shook his head adamantly. He wasn't smiling. "I don't want you to stay."

     I started to remind him that I would only be in Pittsburgh, just a few hours away, but he didn't let me get more than a word out before he said, "I want you to go."

     "Jamie—"

     "Liam, you're not staying for me," Jamie insisted. "I know why you want to get away. I know how bad you need it. You're going to California."

     He was right. I needed it. I needed to get away from my mother.

     But I needed this, too. I needed Jamie close enough to touch.

     I started to say, "What if you--"

     But I stopped myself short, remembering the little girl with dark brown hair who I'd seen at his house just that night. There was no point in even asking.

     Jamie didn't let the words die, though. With a tug at my shirt, he urged me to continue. "What were you going to say?"

     "Something dumb," I shrugged, trying to brush it off. If he caught my attempt at an easy dismissal, he ignored it wholeheartedly.

     "Well that's nothing I'm not used to," he said. There was a teasing shine in his eyes. "So don't be shy."

    I pressed my lips together, poking my tongue at the inside of my cheek. Giving in, I tentatively said, "You could come with me."

     When Jamie didn't say anything for several seconds, I got self-conscious and continued. "I mean, I just think it would be a nice escape, you know? Like when we went to Stevie's over winter break, just . . . longer. Far away from all of the shit here." I was rambling, but I couldn't stop. "I mean, if you don't want to, I totally get that. It's a long trip, and you probably sunburn easily, and — wow, that is not what I meant to say just now. But if you think it's a bad idea, then . . . then that's fine."