One For The Ages

Deux: Tenerife Sea

After a long battle with my own thoughts, I decided to put my feelings aside so as not to ruin the friendship Ed and I have. I did not act upon it also. He's too good to lose. I kept denying my feelings and locked them away from the world until he began his own stadium tour in the US.

One memorable show; October of 2013 at Madison Square Garden, NYC, I was there.

"This is the first time I ever played it live. No one has heard this song," Ed said while the crowd grew wild.

"I wrote this song after the Grammys. I was in a situation at the Grammys where everything is kind of happening all at once. There's a lot of people around talking a lot of shit." he narrated.

"And I found the only sense coming out of anyone's lips or vocal box.. um.. this one person. And I wrote a song about it. I hope you enjoy it," he continued.

I knew what he was talking about, we were together that night, had a two-hour long chat with Elton John inside my dressing room. Could it be about Elton John? I was a bit on the edge, waiting for him to start singing. Everyone in the MSG hushed down as he sang.

"You look so wonderful in that dress

I love your hair like that

The way it falls on the side of your neck

Down your shoulders and back."

So it wasn't about Elton John, I thought.

"I'm so in love. So in love. So in love. So in love."

The energy was drained from my body. I'm feeling numb. Could this song be the one he wrote for someone he likes? I can't think of anybody else who's with Ed the night of the Grammys aside from me, but I didn't want to assume. And so, I listened intently to every word, every lyric he sang.

"You look so beautiful in this light

Your silhouette over me

The way it brings out the blue in your eyes

Is the Tenerife Sea."

Blue eyes, blue eyes, I kept repeating it and really thinking who could it be for. My hands were getting sweaty already, it was driving me crazy. I stayed there, pacing back and forth, the clicks and clacks of my oxfords echoed in the hall. I was anxious until the end of the show, I barely appreciate all other songs that Ed performed.

I was waiting for him backstage. After the show, he was met by his manager Stu, hugged him proudly. More people from his group walked to him and said their congratulations. I just stood still waiting for our eyes to meet, then it happened. I smiled at him and he walked towards me.

"You were great up there, Ed. Couldn't be more proud of you!" I said acting all hyped up.

"Thanks Tay!" he replied. "Do you perhaps want to grab a drink in a few? There's something I've been meaning to tell you," he continued as he readied himself to leave.

"Sure! What about?" I asked.

"About some songs?" he answered unsure of what he had said.

I let out a chuckle and nodded. I nervously walked following him out the building.

Ed brought me to a bar downtown. The place was kind of hipster and low-key, barely seen by the public. We sat across each other in a booth by the window. He got himself a beer and a vodka-diet coke combo for me. Ed was talking about how cool his NY fans were and some random things when I uttered, "So what do you want to tell me, Ed?"

He was taken aback by my sudden question. My hands were shaking, the suspense was killing me. I just want to get this over with.

"Oh yeah, that," he said. "How did you find the song earlier?" he asked in a low voice.

"Which one?" I asked.

"The one to be added in the new album," he said.

"Oh, that! It's amazingly sweet, I loved it," I replied.

I was not sure if I loved it that much because the song confuses me, I thought to myself.

"With a chorus like that, and to repeat it so many times, you must be really in love with this girl, huh?" I continued.

He nodded but kept his silence. The lyrics kept echoing in my thoughts stressing on the last line, I felt pain again.

I finished my vodka and ordered another. Ed and I were both deep in thought then I broke the silence.

"In the last line, by the way, is it Beth?" I asked curiously. "Who is Beth?"

He sighed.

"There is no Beth. It was a misdirection," he replied. "Originally, it's supposed to go as; I knew you better"

My brows furrowed asking him what he meant by that.

"You're a songwriter too, Taylor. I know you know who I was talking about in this song, you were there," he continued then he sighed deeply.

"You were.. the only one there," he said almost a whisper.

There was a hint of embarrassment in his tone. His cheeks showed a tint of red.

I was trembling. I didn't know what to feel. I've been hurt, acting nonchalant. I tried so hard to stop myself from falling completely. And there he was, dropping a bomb on me that all the while he was doing the same. I couldn't hold it in anymore, tears streamed down my face, hands up my face together like I was praying to cover my eyes.

Ed immediately stood up from his seat and sat beside me. He was shocked by my sudden crying so he wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, it's okay. I don't want us to be awkward. I totally understand if you don't feel the same, Tay," he whispered trying to comfort me.

"These tears.. they're happy tears Ed," I said in between sobs.

He remained silent for a moment confused of what I had said.

"What?" he asked.

I let out a giggle and looked up at him.

"If you are so in love like what you say you are in that song," I claimed. "That makes the two of us."

It took a few seconds before Ed gets it, but when he did, he was smiling like a villain.

"Oh my God, are you fucking serious?" he said electrified.

I just smiled and nodded.

"Since when?" he asked.

"It was stupid of me to not become aware of it right away. I started to really notice you this summer but I have denied it to myself for so long." I replied too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"I wanted to tell you ever since the start of the Red tour but I was scared shitless," Ed explained his side. "I knew I'm just not your type."

"What are you saying? You're just cool, amazing human with a voice of an angel, who wouldn't fall for you?" I said. "Besides, you're a cat-lover, and you had me at that!"

We both laughed. He said softly like we have a little secret, "Hey, want to see the city tonight?"

I grinned and nodded. It was almost dawn when we slipped out of the bar and grabbed a taxi. We were in the backseat sitting beside each other, about half a foot apart. We looked like fools, smiling silently, still digesting what we talked about back at bar. We drove around the city, keeping the meter running, going on loops, singing along to cab music, when Ed started to break the awkwardness.

He moved closer to me, his hand touched my cheek as his lips crashed into mine. We pulled away after what feels like forever and he whispered, "I love you, Swift."

I smiled and answered back, "I love you too, you have no idea."

From that night on, Ed and I started seeing each other. Ed is a very private person, so we opted to date secretly, away from the prying eyes of the public. We both knew what the hate of the world was like and we didn't want any drama, so we shrugged every dating rumors thrown our way. It was easy for us to go out exposed because we were best friends and we remained best of friends. How we are in closed doors is how we are out in the open. A number of photos taken by the paps or fans leaked every now and then, it was beyond our control but we managed to avoid being the hot topic.