Dream with Me ✔️

14: I'm Living in Mine

▂▂▂▂▂▂
Aurora ☪︎
▂▂▂▂▂▂

Chapter 14: I'm Living in Mine [Edited]

All good things come to an end.

Before I knew it, I had to fly back to California and leave Seattle for the second time, leaving my mother for the second time. People say the hardest part is leaving, but I think the hardest part is to resist the urge to come back. It takes a lot for someone to not run back into the arms they love most.

I'm a thousand miles away from here for a reason. I just need my degree and I can go back home and give my mother and I a better life. There's nothing that would make me want to stay here... right?

I hear footsteps walking on the cold and slightly damp grass from the rain. Almost immediately I know who it is, I can now recognize those footsteps from anywhere.

"Hi," I mumble without looking up, not feeling a conversation right now. It's late, a little past one am so the only other person who'd be sitting on the grass with me is Theo. It's almost like a routine with us. I'm usually out here first, and then he ends up finding me.

"Hey." His voice is soft as if he already knew I was feeling like crap before sitting down next to me. Theo, in general, is a soft person.

From what I've noticed from the couple months I've known him, he's quiet. He doesn't seem to be the party and outgoing type, like Matthew or Emrie. He's a little like Nisha and I, reserved. Though she's more of a firecracker and not afraid to tell somebody off. I've never heard Theo yell before. He's the type to defuse the situation, besides the first time he met Matthew.

Whenever I see him around campus he's either by himself, with me, or a couple of people who I assume are his good friends. Though he's usually with me in the middle of the night.

"Was Seattle not as great as you thought it'd be?" It's the first time I've seen him since before break, he came back last night, he texted. We didn't talk much over the phone while being back home, it's understandable. Both of us wanted to spend all the time we could with our family.

I shrug. "I don't know." I had a great time back home and that's what I told my roommates when they asked about my break. Which was true, I loved being back home, it was just those twenty minutes with the talk of my father that I didn't enjoy, but I didn't want that out of all things to be the thing that ruined my break.

"My mom and I talked, I'm going to have to see my father soon, so there's that." I let out a slow breath of air, staring straight ahead. I'm not sure how much to tell, I don't want to burden him or make him feel awkward as I spill out my personal life, especially when I don't know how much he can handle.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I do. I do want to talk about it.

"Can you handle it?" I question with a chuckle, even though there's nothing humorous about this.

"I can." I finally look at him. He gives me a look of certainty and nods slightly. I believe him.

"I just- I don't want to become disposable." I try to explain my thoughts to Theo. "I don't want to be the daughter who naively forgives him and starts bonding again just for him to decide to push me back out when he no longer has the time."

The memories of my childhood start to come in. Every scene that speeds by are filled with me and a giant hole. A hole my mother tries to fill in when she can, but the hole would keep getting bigger and bigger, therefore, making it impossible for her to fix.