Aug 28,2019.
I remember the first time I saw you
Singing in a video,a piano playing
And I remember the first time I heard you talking
As you were mad about some girls' mocking
I can picture the first time we made eye contact
It was like something got cracked
Like me and devil made a pact
And then everyone else got blacked
I think that was the last time I owned my heart
Now theres none left of it not even a part
That day it skipped a beat and I found it abstract
And first time feeling so I didnt know how to act
I always thought love was something absurd
Until my heart flied out of its cage like a bird
I've always been scared of feeling this way
Scared of having my world painted in grey
I got broken to pieces many times in my life
Thought if I catched feelings this would be another knife
I was so scared of a feeling I'd never felt before
I thought I wouldn't feel anything if i did just ignore-
Ignore the way I felt and that we'd both be alright
Thought it was right and decided myself to fight
But these sensitive butterflies knew how to bite
You walked in my life with so much light
This way I made a terrible war inside my head
I decided to hide it rather than telling u instead
Thought I was fighting it but only made it spread
Unstoppable feelings now how do I move ahead?
Tried to keep you safe by pushing you away
I was doing wrong because I never felt this way
I think I pushed you far than I had planned
I had regretted it before u took my hand
Feel so much hate for not letting you know
I was clueless and now I have to let you go
Wish we would've been in a better situation
Wish I could make it better and find a curation
It kills me to know you dont feel the same as I do
It is all my fault there's nothing u could do
I miss the times in your face a smile I drew
In my heart you're stickup with strong glue
And these butterflies they just spread and grew
They fly a lot I'm sure they've made a crew
You noticed it but I think u have no clue
How did u lose feelings it makes me turn to blue
Lied to myself and ask how I'm within
In a never ending rollercoaster now I'm in
Wish someday we'll restart it and begin
What if it gets better and love will win?
Scenarios in my head are gonna drown me
Because to my heart you've got the key
Is this friendship all we will ever be?
If my feelings were water I'd build a sea.
1:43 a.m.
YOU ARE READING
In Waves
PoetryThese are some poems I've written and kept them to myself due the fact I never wanted anyone to read them.This I feel,and to some of you they might be just words. These are not words,they're all feelings spilled in ink.
