SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN DAYYZZZ GUYS I DONT EVEN HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE FOR IT! IM REALLY SORRY THOUGH AND I LOVE ALL YOU POTATOES!!!
But anyway here's you're update ☺️
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
After I got my shit ton of homework done I went on Instagram and checked my Dm's and oh joy he sent me a really bad picture of me laughing.
Fuck you Zach.
I sent him a message that my friend had found that was a picture of him passed out on a couch wearing the manliest thing you will ever see.
A bright pink tutu with a sparkly purple crown. How cute.
He instantly reapplied with a picture Bre put up as her wcw and I think I had a seizure because I looked like a dysfunctional walrus snorting water.
Oh dear god. Why me??
I didn't have anymore embarrassing pictures of him so I gave up and texted him.
I didn't even greet him with a hey I just went off on him, 'OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT BURN IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT! NOBODY LIKES DICK-MUNCHERS LIKE YOU SO FUCK OFF.'
He didn't reply for a few minutes and I started to actually feel bad but then the dickhole had the nerve to say a sincere thank you.
'You're. A. Dead. Man. Zachary.'
He started sending me panicked texts like 'I'm sorry don't kill me!' And 'I didn't mean it I swear to fucking God!'.
I just sat back and watched the messages roll in and laughed to myself. He's going to wish he never told me his locker combination. I'll need Bre to help with this..
------------------
"Okay we have everything but which locker did you say his was?" Bre asked with a grocery bag of pink glitter, double sided dildos, and a few neon vibrators for us to pack into Zach's locker.
Don't mess with the bull unless you're ready for these motha-fuckin' horns bitch.
"It's number one-thirty-four and the code is; twelve, forty two, nine." I told her as we rounded a corner in one of the halls. It was 5:30 so only two teachers were at Bre's school and they were in their classrooms so we didn't have to worry.
We unlocked his locker and since Bre is like magic she got everything into his locker so that it would all fly out everywhere and he would get covered in pink glitter! Yay!!
'I'm definitely ditching school today to watch this.' I told myself smiling a little.
--------------------
Bre had just gotten out of Ceramics- her second period and was walking into the hall for break and I saw her and walked over to witness the perfection of our minds.
Zach had a football meeting all morning since it was a game day and he didn't go to his first two classes. Obviously that means he'll have to get into his locker now to get his Psychology book which we made sure was in there.
There were a lot of people in C building and it was the most fantastic thing you could think of. All senior football players.
So much for my little Zach's reputation!
He walked in with his friends one of them was my old friend Riley and the other was some guy I think Logan maybe.. oh well I could care less about names right now.
He walked past us towards his locker glancing at Bre and missing me so he didn't suspect anything. Beautiful. Just pure beautiful.
He started to put in his combo and so we walked a few steps closer and the he was on his last number.
I saw his nonchalantly spinning it towards nine and I started getting giddy.
The next thing I knew his locker flew open on its hinges and two dildos and one of the vibrators actually hit him along with somewhere around seven pounds of glitter.
Every single person in C building looked at him and they all started laughing their asses off.
I walked up to him to let him know it was my prank and said "Next time try not to be such a fucking asshole!" Then turned and walked away with a few seniors looking my direction. --I also might've shaken my ass a little just to get my point across--
I decided to go to The cafeteria with Bre and we bought some chips. I followed her to her next classes actually going to them with her now. After fourth period I got a text telling me to go to the parking lot so some guy could take me to Starbucks since it was lunch.
Hey man I wasn't going to turn down free Starbucks. Ever.
So I went to the parking lot and the next thing I knew I had been tackled to the ground and covered it sparkles.
Fuck. "ZACHARY JUDAH PORTER I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU AREN'T SERIOUSLY GONNA BUT ME STARBUCKS I WILL NEVER FUCKING TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!" I screamed at him trying to get out from under him.
He got off of me with a different look he seemed upset. "When did I say anything about Starbucks?" He asked looking at me in a quizzical way.
Dammit if it wasn't Zach then who the fuck is buying me Starbucks?!?
I hit the ground again but it was someone heavier than Zach so I was slightly confused. I looked up to see my 'big brother' who was a junior on top of me and I almost smacked him.
James isn't actually my big brother he's my best friend since third grade and thus was the first time I'd seen or heard from him in almost two years.
"I MISSED YOU SO FUCKING MUCH HOLY SHIT!!" I screamed and hugged him as tight as I could. He laughed a little then hugged me back getting up in the process.
Which sadly meant he picked me up. And I squealed.
I. Don't. Squeal. Ever.
Especially in front of hot sophomores that want to date me! "JAMES PARKER PUT ME DOWN!" I yelled squealing again after.
"NO NO NO KEEP DOING THAT HER SQUEALS ARE ADORKABLE!" Zach yelled and I attempted to kick him in the face but knowing my luck I slipped.
That caused me to be upside doe in James' arms so I practically slithered out of his grasp crawling on the cement ground. Atleast I was freed of that torture.
I told Zach I would see his sparkly ass later and then got into James' car. Which happened to be an all black 2009 Challanger.
Holy fucktits I need this car.
We drove to Starbucks and when we got back I asked if he could just take me to the art building so I could see little mister glitter fuck. He was in Photo&Design right now so he could talk to me if he wanted to.
I walked in and the teacher looked at me then went back to helping some fake slutty ginger. Well fuck you whoever you are.
I walked over to him but he didn't notice me because he was listening to overly loud music so I shook the crap out of his chair and he fell on the floor.
HA! DUMBASS!
We talked for that entire class period then I found Bre and we went home because her big brother Daniel wanted her help.
#################################
SOOO! That was the new chapter I hope you homos liked it and I'll try to update again soon!
Also, sorry for any spelling mistakes in not on my laptop so there are probably a lot more than usual lol
ANYWAY I LOVE YOU ALL YOULL BE MY POTATO BROSKIS TILL THE END!
PEACE ✌️
~Always and Maybe Forever~ CBB<3
