The Tick Meets the Coupon Lady- The Tick Fanfiction

Part 3

11/3/19

The Tick Meets Coupon Lady part 3

"Hi Mom".

"Arthur!? Dear it's been ages! How are you? How's the City?"

"Well... things are a little tight actually. I was hoping to ask you a favor".

"Oh of course sweet heart. What's going on?"

"Well. You know how I'd always wanted to be a superhero?"

"When you were eight? Of course! It was the most adorable thing really. Why?"

"Well... well, I quit my job to become a superhero and I think I made a mistake. I'd like to come back home for a bit to get my head sorted".

"Oh Arthur! You're always so level headed, I wouldn't have guessed! But yes of course dear. Come on out to the Suburbs. I'll get blankets out for your old room".

"And...".

"And?".

"And can a friend of mine come? He needs a place to stay".

"Of course, he, it is a he isn't it?".

"Yes Mom".

"Good, well he can have Dot's room. I'd love to meet your friend".

"Thanks Mom. You're really helping us out here".

"No need to thank me just call more often won't you? I know you get busy but you really should think of your poor mother more often".

"You're right, I really should. I've been selfish for a while now and I really need to tell you some things in person and I will. My friend will help explain some things too I'm sure".

"Really? What? You're getting a bit mysterious here now".

"It'll all be pretty plain once you see my friend I'm sure. I'll see you tonight Mom. Love you".

"Love you too dear, but..."

"We'll talk when we get there but I've got to put out a fire here, ok? Love you".

"Love you too".

Setting the phone down Arthur sighed at the sight of his comfortable apartment already missing it. The Tick was pretending to snore loudly on the couch in the living room. His legs draped over the armrest and hardly looked comfortable himself but he'd never complained of the tight quarters. Arthur wondered what the Tick could be thinking and how long this pretense was going to last. And where he would live until he found another sidekick. The rent wasn't due for another two weeks but he'd have to give at least a month's notice before moving out. With the broken windows and various holes in the dry wall there was no way he was getting his deposit back.

"Ahhh-hum. Well, good morning old chum!"

"Good morning Tick," Arthur replied getting the Tick's bowl out for his morning cereal, "Which would you like today? Captain Peanutbutter Puffs or Rainbow Loopys?"

"Rainbow Loopys good chum. Part of a balanced breakfast!"

"And enough sugar to make your teeth vibrate. Is that how you get your powers? All this sugar everyday? I've never seen anybody go through two boxes just in one morning, much less every morning".

"But the milk gets better and better with each bowl of rainbow goodness!"

"I suppose. Do know anybody besides me? Maybe Lady Liberty knows a program for housing homeless superheroes. I think I have her number somewhere".

Flipping through his phone as the Tick poured and munched happily Arthur's hands began to shake.

"Bother, this is easier and harder than I'd imagined. Does that make sense? I didn't think this part through but logically there should be some sort of program. Otherwise they'd just have superpowered homeless guys robbing people willy nilly".

"Willy nilly indeed".

"Right," Arthur said setting his glasses in place, "Well here goes nothing".

"Doot... doot...doot...Hello! For English press 1. Para Español- Doot! Hello! You have reached the Lady Liberty help line. If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911. Please listen to the menu as it has been subject to change. To schedule a public appearance with Lady Liberty please press 1. To cancel a public appearance with Lady Liberty please press 2. To report possible sightings of Lady Liberty imitators or close approximation ions to her likeness please press..."

"Right there was a code for a direct line on the back of the card. What wasss iiiit... Right seven eight nine"

"Doot-Doot-Doot. Hello! For English press 1. Para Español- Doot! Hello! You have reached the Lady Liberty voicemail box. Please leave a message after the tone and your call with be answered in the order it was received. Doot!..."

"...Uhhh hi Lady Liberty it's me Arthur. I'm wondering if there's a program for housing  homeless superheroes. Please call me back. Uhh 555-125-5521. Please call soon".

Looking a bit flustered Arthur set the phone back down as he watched the Tick open his second box of Rainbow Loopys.

"Well buddy, here's hoping she pulls through here," he said leaning back into his chair, "Will you help me move my couch when it comes time for the move?"

"Ov courshe ol' cshum!" the Tick said with a mouthful of rainbow colored mush.

"Thanks Tick. You're a real pal. You really are. I've never had a friend like you, you know that? Or met anybody like you really. But, in a good way. You know?"

"Sure!"

Arthur sighed not sure if the Tick really understood much of their predicament at all. He set his mind to sorting out which of his possessions he should be packing first when his phone rang out.

"He-Hello?"

"Hey Arthur it's me. What's this about homeless superheroes.? Are you having issues with rent because we can arrange for vouchers and stuff you know".

"Really? Wait, that doesn't matter, I'm hanging up the cape. I'm calling because I need somewhere to leave the Tick or else I don't know what could happen to him. Also is there a side kick superhero match up program maybe?"

"Well... that's a lot to take in. So... yeah, yeah I guess I can't say I'm surprised, some people aren't cut out for this job and you being the most vulnerable sidekick I've ever laid eyes on that makes sense".

"Thanks?"

"Meet me at the coffee shop by your apartment, we'll hash out the details there".