Battle Of The Heart And Mind

Chapter 5

All my senses intensified
Whenever you and I, we dive
I crossed the ocean of my mind
But in the end I drown
You push me down, down

Unexpected

"SUPRISE!" I said as I jump from my hiding place.But I was more suprise to see him with another girl whom he is kissing at the moment.He seem shock at first.He let go of the girl at lumapit sya sakin.

"Bakit ka nandito?Diba nasa ibang bansa ka?"tanong ni Toby.Yung tono nya parang galit.Para bang mali na bumalik ako dito.Kaya pala hesistant sila na sabihan ako about him.He was cheating on me!

"Suprise nga diba.Kaso ako pa ata tong nasuprise sa ginagawa mo."sabi ko.Kinuyom ko yung kamay ko para pigilan yung sakit.Para hindi bumagsak ung mga luhang nagbabadyang lumabas.

"Kelan mo pa ko niloko?"I was strong enough to ask him that.But I was also weak to listen to his answer.

"You know what.I never did love you.I just pretended to because I know na malalagot ako sa kuya mo.You were like a sister to us kaso nainlove ka sakin."sabi nya nangderetsyahan sakin."I was force to do something i did not want to do"sabay kibit balikat.

This is all a lie.Was I never deserving to be love?Bakit kelangan pa mangyari sakin to?

"Kaya lang naman ako pumayag na maging boyfriend mo because I pity you.You were so soft to be played around."

Nakatingin na lang ako sa paanan ko.I dont know what todo.Aalis na ba ako o papakinggan ko kung ano dahilan nya.

"Kung magpakamatay ka go.I don't care.Pagod na ko magkunwari na mahal ka when in fact I never did."kinuha nya yung braso ko papalabas ng condo nya."Alis ka na sinisira mo yung gabi ko."

Pagbagsak nya ng pinto dun lumabas ang lahat.Di pa ko nakakaalis binuksan nya uli ung pinto.Binagsak nya yung mga gift at pasalubong ko sa kanya."Oh mga gamit mo.Di ko kelangan nyan may pera akong pambili nya."

*DING*

"Evie?!Ano nangyari?"sabay lapit nila Gwy.

"Pakiuwi muna toh samin.May pupuntahan lang ako."sabay ngiti ko sa kanila.Naglakad ako papuntang elevator."Dont worry girls.Successful ung suprise.Nasurprise naman sya."

Pinindot ko ung ground floor.Lumabas ako ng building at pumara ng taxi.Sinuot ko ang earphones ko.Nagdeac ako ng lahat ng social media ko.I put on airplane mode.

The song playing now is Haunted by Taylor Swift.I somehow relate to the song.Because I know at some point people will get tired of me.I am not worthy to be with anyone.I'm worthless.

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and its all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And its comin' over you like its all a big mistake

Pagbaba ko ay humiga ako sa puntod nya.

"Hey,you good up there.I hope you do.I might be joining you earlier than expected.I'm sorry this had to happen so soon.I just can't fight the pain."

Rain started to pour.I'm still here crying as if there is no tomorrow.

"I wish you are the one alive.I wish you were here.I miss you so damn much."

I lay there covering my eyes.I'm soaked.I was having a hard time to breathe.

"I wonder what it feels to die."

At this moment,I dont know what to do.As my world shatters.

"Hey I have to go now.See you later."