but i must say

ninth

the midnight glimmers,

as the stars shine

like pearls of a broken necklace

strewn 

across the horizon.

the night is quiet 

except the distant 

of a million bustling lives

which is all that i can listen

as i extend my hand

hesitantly 

silenced before 

i even made a move

by my churning thoughts

fearing rejection. 

i am here

to apologize

to make you realize 

that i made a mistake 

and you're the only one 

i ever wanted. 

but i stare 

at your ebony door

i admit to myself,

it's a massive thing

i'm asking forgiveness for. 

so i stand still

with my hand

frozen midway,

trying to think of the 

best possibility 

where all

mistakes are forgiven, 

smiles reach the eyes,

we get past this, 

we do,

we get past it tonight. 

but i must say, 

i am paralysed 

i was a bitch 

it dawned on me.

the guilty feeling 

eats me away

as i step back

unable to tell you that. 

i look up at your window

before i leave,

and i see your silhouette

watching me

slowly, you wave 

and i could have sworn 

i noticed a smile

beneath the darkness 

of the

shadows i see.