I'd gone back to Guernsey for a while, couldn't bare to look Simon in the eyes, I knew all it was gonna bring was pain and anger. He said no. Why was I stupid enough to believe he'd say yes. I mean I'm Harry, he's Simon. I couldn't even be mad at Simon, I mean he didn't nothing wrong after all, he did what was best for him and not for me. At least he didn't make a fool of me at the alter, woudnt that have been a sight to see, why didn't he want me no more. Why wasn't I good enough for him. Why did he make this big fuss over us if he didn't even want us to be a thing? He asked me to move in with him but he didn't want me. Why doe he want me no more god. I hadn't brought my phone on the trip, couldn't bare to speak to non of them for a while, I needed my personal space and time to heal before I did. The only people who I fully had was Josh, and the Cal's, nobody else needed me and that hurt so badly. I knew they'd hate me when I got back, I mean I went fucking missing in the middle of the night.
My mom walked into my room holding a tray of food with the biggest fake smile on her face. She knew what was up and she was trying to keep me happy
"How you putting up baby boy?" She placed the plate on my lap
I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled, she gathered the fact that I needed to be alone for a while to regather myself and be the Harry I used to be. I hated pushing my family away after I barged into their home but I don't think I could have bared to speak to anyone right now.
°°°
Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days and days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months.
I hadn't been home in a while and today was my flight day, I had been in Guernsey for 3 months. I was going to be moving back in with the Cals. I didn't want move back into the sidemen house, I didn't want that to become the place I began to hate because that place was my second home and if you ruin your second home you've got nothing.
Everywhere I went hurt me, my bones ached and my eyes were swallon. I haden't ever been in such a bad state then I was right them, every thing about me we unrepairable.
°°°
The cab drive to the cals was long and boring, the man blasted reggae and the care smelt like rotten milk, he spoke to me about how his daughter is going to be a pediatrician and if I was being real I could not give any more fucks so I just nodded along to what he was saying.
I looked around as the area began to become familiar, we passed house after house until we passed the sidemen house, my heart broke a little bit. I gathered to manage to see Simon and Tobi playing catch on the yard together , smiling. He had already moved on, how fucking dumb was I?
The cab driver pulled up outside the apartment complex where I used to live. I thanked him and gave him the money telling him to keep the change. I grabbed my small luggage and strolled to the door, clicking the cold metal button
"Apartment 18" I said shallowly into the speaker. It began to ring loudly , I was waiting for them to pick up. Freezy picked up, he had worry in his voice.
"Hello who is it?" He asked
"It's Harry" I rubbed the back of my neck, the call went silent for a second and then freezy came back, his voice had changed he was high pitched and excited.
"I thought you were dead harry, I'm glad to hear from you, I'll let you in now"
Freezy clicked a button and the doors opened to the complex, I walked up a staircase and walked down the long corridor until I reached the end. I slowly knocked on the door. I heard three loud footsteps hopping to the door.
Freezy and lux pulled me into the biggest hug and held me so tightly
"Welcome home my guy"
