Loving her

Chapter 4.

Endless questions roam around in my head, who was that guy? And more importantly . . . why would he even talk to me? Out of all people, he actually talked to me, I mean I know there was no one there but still, guys like him would snort and make fun of me. 

My eyes are wide staring into the hallway he disappeared from a few minutes ago. I still can't get over it. His simple words somehow managed to play with my heart.

 I look into the mirror for the first time in a while. My blonde hair is slightly tangled but the acne on my face is starting to look better than I remember. Maybe getting a boyfriend isn't as difficult as I thought it'd be.

I want to brush it off but something inside me sparks up a few butterflies. I haven't felt his way in a while and it feels good, it feels like a new beginning that I'm excited for.

 I watch a movie under my cozy blanket, eating my sandwich, and drinking my sprite. This sandwich really does taste good. I try staying awake while watching the movie, it isn't too bad but I find myself getting too tired to keep up.

I have no idea when Ava will get back or how it's going which reminds me, I should text her. Maybe it's wrong of me not to have gone with her? What if she's blackout drunk and something happens? Ava has gone partying before and I know she can handle herself so I shouldn't have much to worry about.

I pause the movie and close my eyes. My thoughts soon drifted to a familiar place. Here I am in college, a place I never thought I'd be. I've always wanted to go to college and I actually like studying but my whole entire life has been so strange. 

I've never been like any of my peers. While they all knew what they wanted to do in life and what they wanted to study in college . . . I was always the only one who didn't have dreams. The one who didn't seem to be able to picture a future, a future past the first two semesters in college to be exact. I never could dream beyond college. Ava has always said it's because I don't know what I want from life. I hope she's right but I know she isn't.

I quickly wake up to the sound of the door unlocking. I hear laughter. It's Ava's voice. "Hi! I'm back!" She yells.

"Keep it down it's six am." I scold her.

"Don't you worry, I gotcha." She mumbles and falls down on her bed. Gotcha? Who even says that anymore it's not two thousand and seven.

"I met a guy he was sexy, blonde too. Hot . . . so hot." She adds and before I can ask her about it she starts to snore.

This time I don't feel jealousy knowing that Ava has met a guy she liked because I have too. I still can't believe she got sloppy drunk with school starting on Monday she'll have a huge hangover. She has never been very responsible but I think she'll be just fine as long as I'm there to look over her.

I close the door and lock it. I don't want any of her drunk friends to come barging in. My bed is comfortable, but I somehow prefer when Ava is here with me, we always used to cuddle and talk about her future, because mine was always filled with uncertainty.

 I used to be able to see glimpses of the far future but now all I can see is pitch black after the first two semesters. It doesn't make sense, but nothing ever does in my life.