Loving her

Chapter 29

I hear a knock at my door and I roll out of bed. I don't know if I want to answer the door because there isn't anyone I can think of that I'd actually want to see and if it's strange, they can forget it.

"Hey, are you okay?" Liam asks as I open the door. 

"yeah." I reply quickly. 

"I'm sorry I just wanted to see how you were doing." He explains.

 It kind of feels nice knowing that someone cares about me even though I'm not sure how I feel about human contact, and especially with Liam after the nightmare I had, I know nightmares aren't real but in my life, they've always meant something.

 My mom used to have dreams about her being pregnant, my dad getting into a car crash and my older sister getting a rare disease, all of which came true. 

"Thanks." I slightly smile. 

"Can I come in?" he asks surprisingly and with a small smile, my mind goes completely blank before I can answer. 

"Uh, I guess," I say, not fully sure what is happening. He walks into the room and sits down on my bed. It feels sort of good seeing him here with me.

 As I look into his eyes I can't help but see a potential future between the both of us especially now that I'm thinking of losing weight. 

Liam's strong hands brush through his hair and he looks like he's about to say something.

"I talked to your friend Ava . . ." he starts and I roll my eyes.

 I don't want to talk about Ava right now and I definitely don't want my best friend's name coming out of my boyfriend's mouth like that.

"I want nothing to do with her," I say angrily, annoyed to hear her name mentioned every second of every day. "No don't worry I'm not going to be some third person who will help you two solve anything. I just wanted to talk to you and only you," he explains and my features soften slowly. I sit down next to him and look him in the eyes.

"well about what? because all I hear now is ‚Ava'." I say with an angrier tone, not knowing why but something makes my heart pump out of my chest. "I know her, and uh . . . not in a friendly way," he says with puppy eyes and I feel my heart sink all the way  down into my stomach. 

"what. . . ?" I start but can't seem to find any of the words I want to say, to come out. There aren't any words for what I'm hearing, all of this time I've been so obsessed over this boy and even wanting to go as far as changing my body for him, to fit whatever standards he's probably used to and now only to find out he slept with my best friends.

 Endless questions stream through my head until I remember the way Ava told me she slept with someone she regretted sleeping with, and how when I found her in that room I wanted to look around but she pulled me away. 

Maybe all of this time both of them knew, they knew exactly what they were doing.

"We hooked up," he says, not making eye contact and I feel my jaw drop, my heart race, and my anger boil. 

Just hearing what I already figured out makes my whole being shift into the direction I don't want it to. 

This is going to change everything and now that I know what Ava is truly like I'm not sure I want her in my life anymore and neither do I want to see Liam's face ever again. 

My heart feels broken and this time, it's beyond recovery.