My Alpha Black

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

~~~ Ali's POV ~~~

I hovered in the living room, my eyes darting around at the pack warriors hurrying in and out; swapping papers, packing bags, passing on messages. I felt like I was in the way and had no clue as to how I could help.

Looking up into the kitchen I saw Black - or Gabriel now as I had found out last night - and the thought of knowing his first name softened my raw nerves. He had a black tshirt on, hands braced on the island counter as he discussed plans and tactics with Chez and Bruce. He looked so serious and focused. None of the gentleness I had seen was present now, he was Alpha Black - the most feared and ruthless of all leaders. Whilst my heart swelled with pride and affection at seeing him like this, I also felt the ever increasing nervousness and guilt that came with knowing that this mission was all because of me. People could get hurt and I would be responsible ... poor Avery was already about to suffer extreme pain as Ravelbarg tortured her for the source of my powers and the incantation to activate it.

With a jagged sigh I brought my arms around myself, trying to physically hold myself together when my emotions seemed to be too fraught. Everything seemed to be happening so fast and I couldn't keep up. My new pack was so efficient and so determined that I felt like I was looking at a well oiled machine ... well rehearsed in planning extensive attacks within just hours. Were they not worried about the risk to their lives? And why did they readily jump in to volunteer to help me and Avery when they didn't even know me? It just intensified the guilt I was dreading when many of them inevitably got hurt ... or worse.

I gulped at that thought and shook my head. I couldn't let that happen. No. This was crazy. I couldn't let them do this. I needed to call this off now. Right now. Oh God.

"Ali?" That deep voice cut through my panic and my eyes snapped up to meet his. I don't know what he saw but his face softened and I felt like he was seeing into my soul. Seeing the rage of conflicting emotions inside of me. A lump formed in my throat and I bit my lip to stop my eyes from tearing up.

Within seconds he was stood right in front of me, cupping my face in his strong hands as he placed a kiss to my forehead. "You can't do this," I muttered in a broken whisper as I pulled my arms in tight to my sides and burrowed myself into his huge chest. Familiar arms instantly wrapped around me as I continued to mumble into his tshirt, "people are going to get hurt, they might even die and it'll be my fault. I won't let them do that - I can't - I -"

"Shh," he hushed gently, stroking my hair, "shh now, just take a deep breath okay?" He said softly.

I think I nodded but I wasn't sure. Right now any purpose, any action I could set my mind to was a lifeline and so I clung to it and focused just on taking deep breaths as he'd asked me to. I have no clue how long I did that for as the others continued to scurry around us in a buzz of activity.

"Come on," he said finally and tugged on my hand to make me follow him out of the back door and away from everyone else.

I breathed in deeply once we were outside and although I felt a lot calmer I was still worried. When he stopped and moved to stand in front of me I voiced my thoughts more coherently. "I don't want people getting hurt or even killed because of me. And don't say they volunteered or that it wouldn't be my fault," I said as he was about to interrupt. He frowned at that but I continued, "They shouldn't even have to volunteer. This is my problem and I should be the one facing him, not them! I don't think you realise how dangerous he is."

"I don't think you realise how skilled our warriors are compared to others you've seen." he replied.

That did make me pause for a moment. Pack Black were renowned for their lethal fighting skills, which had become something of a legend due to them rarely showing them off for other packs to see. Could they be good enough to overthrow Ravelbarg?