Wandering Into the Mind

Why

she always comes back swinging that hand, swinging that leg
wearing booze as her perfume
kick, kick, punch, slap
that's all she was ever good at
she's my mom
she was supposed to love me not hurt me
why?
i always ask this
my stomach rumbles
my skin cold with bruises sprinkled
my mom is supposed to be my savior
why?
i just ask but the answer is always "i'm a disappointment and a mistake"
why?
i try to fight back, but just to receive more beatings
"this bitch is going to die" i hear a voice call out one night
it's just my imagination
"kill her when she comes back home tonight"
why?
i ask aiming the question at who i would never expect
the voice goes silent
the latch unlocks
i place my hand on the cleaver on command
the door squeaks open
my mind goes blank
i then gain consciousness
blood is everywhere
why?
i ask
yet one last time