Ace of Light

Falling Audition

Clear as the day, Eddie knew he was fucked, no matter what he'd like to believe. The theatre stage was only a few steps from Eddie, the stage lights sweeping the set and seeping through the gaps in the vibrant, red curtains of each side of the stage. The air was still and dark, seeming to reach in and drag out air from Eddie's lungs as he looked down at the dimly lit sheet of paper that shook and shifted around in his hands that moved unintentionally, blurring his vision of the lines he was to read aloud. The side stage was encrusted with the repetitive drumming of the sole of Eddie's foot against the hard, wooden floor. This tapping had echoed around in Eddie's ear as he attempted to speak the lines on his sheet of paper under his breath.

"You could use a buddy, don't you want a," Eddie pushed the sheet up closer to his eyes as he muttered the words, trying to sing them while also whispering, "-pal? Yes I do, yes I do!" Eddie croaked the last six words of the line, accidentally projecting his voice louder than he should have.

"Shit." Eddie knew the sudden loudness had entered from side stage, interrupting the person on stage as they spoke their lines. A faint piano was playing a tune he knew all too well – the tune to the exact song he was supposed to perform. Eddie smacked his own wrist as he pushed the paper closer to his face, trying to make out the second line.

"Girl the way I see it, your daddy should be leaving, and-," Eddie's now whispers were drowned out by the loud clapping that had erupted from the judges and other members of the audience.

"Next!" the shout of a man shot through the applause, creating a silence once again. Eddie swallowed, his hands twitching and shaking, almost tearing the paper he was holding as he attempted to place the paper onto his lap.

Eddie began to breathe from both his nose and mouth, the air stiffening inside his shrinking throat. His stomach twisted and churned as Eddie moved the hands that wanted to leave his body toward and atop of the wheels attached to his chair. He pushed downward onto the wheels with immense force, wheeling himself onto the stage. The rays of white from the stage lights were like splinters in Eddie's eyes. He raised his hand above his eyes, shielding himself from the blinding light that shot down. He now only saw the dozens of eyes ripping his confidence apart and replacing it with anxiety. He didn't know why but he shrugged, not seeming to be for any reason at all but to satisfy the urge to.

A dark skinned female from the left of the judge's table adjusted her glasses after clearing her throat, leaving a dent in the silence and receiving the attention of Eddie, who seemed to have already forgotten what he was doing up on the stage. His face trembled as he looked down to his paper, lifting his hands off of the wheels of his chair and swiftly crumpling the right side of the sheet as he brought it to his eyes. He then cleared his own throat.

Muttering began to create white noise that interrupted Eddie's processing of the words in front of him. The words he thought he knew so well were now nothing but jumbled up letters in places that made no sense. A faint tear emerged from Eddie's eye as he produced what sounded like a cry that had been cut off before properly starting. He cleared his throat once again.

"You could use a-," Eddie tried to sing his line, but the trembling of his face shook the words into another strange noise that dropped straight into a puddle of failure on the stage. The muttering started to grow much louder, drowning out Eddie's next attempt at the same line.

"You could use a-," Eddie clenched his fists as more tears emerged from his eyes. The muttering grew even louder, like a beast Eddie was to overpower. But how?

"Fucking dicks," Eddie thought loudly, his nails digging into his own palm. More tears emerged but the muttering had become silent. He took this as an opportunity to finally say what he came on stage to say. Eddie swallowed as much air as he could, loosening the knot in his throat.