T R A P P E D

Chapter 5

I open my front door to a silent house, but I know that everyone is home. Mother is sat at the kitchen table, sipping at a glass of water. Father sits next to her, his arms hugging her skinny frame affectionately. They sigh as I walk into the room and I'm instantly aware that they know.

"I'm so sorry." I croak, my voice cracking as I fight back tears. "How could you do this to us? Our reputation-"
"I know."
"How could you have been late? You left early! How could you be so irresponsible?"
"I got lost."
"I'm so ashamed in you Violet, go to your room now and don't come back down until the morning."

Her venomous words sting, making tears prick my eyes as I rush upstairs to my room. I've never been in trouble before. Never. How could I be so stupid, so careless? I've made mother ashamed. I was irresponsible.

But why? I think, why is being late so bad? I get that it disrupts the organisation, but I never meant any harm. I didn't do anything wrong.

I've never questioned let alone disagreed with our rules before, so my defiant thoughts shock even me. Mother would be disappointed, so would father. Matthew would be embarrassed of me. But what's so bad about it? I got lost, how could I have changed that? It wasn't my fault. Thinking about it, so many of our fancy rules are just plain stupid. Why can we not run in public? Why can I only exercise as much as I'm permitted? Why do I get specific 'free time' where even that is controlled by the Officers who give us only a few choices of activities? Why is lateness a Sin?

Why is the government so controlling of our actions? Do they have something to hide? But what?

Questions buzz around my brain, pestering me like a fly trapped in your room that simply won't leave. I wonder if Will is in trouble too... I hope I haven't ruined anything between us. Not that there ever could be an 'us'. Who decides these stupid arrangements for our lives? I don't want an arranged marriage, I want to find true love. I want choices. I want to fall deeply in love, a romance that nobody could ever ruin, a decision that is mine and mine alone. I want Will. Does he feel the same way about me?

Simply sitting beside him at work earlier I could feel a strong connection- something drawing me in. I wanted him to laugh again, just to hear that beautiful tune that was music to my ears. I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, his soft skin upon mine, an innocent gesture which I craved desperately. His goofy smile made me melt in awe, a gooey mess.

But nothing can happen.

Interrupting my thoughts about the unfairness of life, Matthew hurries into my room. "I'm not meant to tell you this, but... ugh I really shouldn't say!"
"Matthew!"
"Fine...um, so basically—"
"Matthew James Lockfield get down here now!"

Matthew flashes me a sympathetic before scurrying our of my room. What was he going to tell me? I hope it wasn't too bad...

I gaze longingly out of my frosty window, feeling suddenly isolated from the world. The empty streets are occupied only by stray snowflakes drifting downwards only to melt as they hit the tarmac. Pointless. They are beautiful- drops of pure white gems cascading from the fluffy clouds floating above. They appear innocent and carefree despite the intermittent danger surrounding them. Maliciously plucking the life out of you right in front of your very eyes. An unbearable cold engulfs you if you're caught out in the snow without reinforcements of a coat or scarf. A layer of cold settling on you, suffocating you into a slow death. Flakes of snow bite your ears and the tip of your nose. Any vision of warmth or kind fires are a glimmer of hope in this completely hopeless situation, a simple desire just out of your grasp. You eventually freeze, your joints stiff, expression still and eyes glazed. There is no escape.