The Distance Between Us

6

Lane

The past few days have gone by a lot easier than I thought they would have. It has given me an amazing feeling deep inside seeing how much the kids have been enjoying themselves. At one point in the past few days I was even able to get a laugh out of Rachel, and it awaken something inside me that I hadn't known was asleep.

Gosh, she's gorgeous.

It of course it has taken the kids two whole days to wonder if my acting this way was going to last, but they've seemed to loosen up some now. We all sat down to supper last night and could hardly eat from laughing so hard.

I hope this is the way they will always remember me.

~~~*~~~

Lane

Today's Friday and I think I've gotten everything ready. I put in a two week notice at work Monday, and I've check in on my insurance plan, and even moved all my savings into Rachels bank account. They'll have plenty of money to keep them going for 2 years or more. I know Rachel will have a plan by then; she's always been smart like that.

But now that everything else is settled, I have one last thing to do. I want to give a proper goodbye to my wife. I want tonight to be about her, and hopefully she'll allow me to show her how much she's meant to me through the years.

~~~*~~~

Rachel

The past few days have been really great. I actually enjoyed spending time with Lane, and even the kids seem more at ease. I know Lane is up to something, but I don't want to spoil our time together with needless arguments. I'm just going to enjoy this while I can.

I finally pull up into the driveway after dropping the kids off at my mother's house. They love spending time with my parents, so they go up and stay with them every other weekend; the drive is just painful.

I step out of the car with an aching neck and back. The porchlight slices through the darkness as I unlock the front door and walk into the quiet house. Guessing Lane has already gone to bed, I head up to my room ready for some sleep.

I smell the candles before I reach my door, but I don't really believe what I see. Candles are lit throughout the dark room and the bathroom, while Lane is sitting on one of the dining room chairs with his back toward the bathroom. I stare at him both shocked and interested.

"You feel like a bath?" He asks.

I study him in my silence. The dark circles around his eyes seem darker in this lighting and he's lost more weight, but yet his muscles still bulge as he stands and moves the chair out of the way.

"Together?" I'm surprised at how nervous I sound as I feel myself blush. He's my husband of course, but I feel like I've just met him all over again.

He grins. "No, I don't have that much luck." It's a joke, and I find myself amused. "I've got it all ready for you." He points to the bathroom.

I feel a jolt of something in my body that I haven't felt in a while; desire? But yet, I'm still nervous about getting undressed in front of him.

Somehow, it's as if he reads my mind, "I'll sit in the chair with my back to you. I won't watch." He says gently.

I stare at him again. His thick hair has fallen over his forehead and I have an urge to brush it away. I step into the bathroom reminding myself that I have to be strong because I don't think my heart could take anymore disappointment. I want to tell him that it was a sweet thought and say no, but my heart screams for this to work so I push my sensible thoughts away.

I watch him sit in the chair, and I carefully undress before slipping in the warm bubble filled bath. I sigh heavily wondering when the last time was that I relaxed in a bath. He starts up a conversation about our first date, and I find myself enjoying every moment of it.

Later on I climb out filling refreshed and wrap a towel around myself before pulling the plug on the water. I turn my back to the tub to find Lane now standing in the doorway leaning against the frame like he used to when he would watch me put my makeup on. I see a flame in his eyes as he studies me with my wet hair and loose towel.

I know that in this moment he's allowing me to make the decision. I can step back and say no, or I can step into his arms and let him have me. My heart cries to be with him, but my mind keeps telling me to leave the room. I can't make a choice, but after a long moment, Lane steps forward and looks down into my eyes. I feel frozen in place by his steady gaze, and I finally recognize the flame I saw earlier, but it can't be; it's love.

My heart begins pounding against my chest and my mind tells me to rush out to keep my feelings safe, but my heart overpowers my thoughts and I find myself not wanting to be lonely in my own house anymore. I want him to hold me in his arms, but still his gaze holds me in place.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. This apology shocks me and I continue to stare at him in awe of the moment. "I haven't been the husband I should be, and I've taken you for grated for too long. I hate that I've caused you so much pain, but I want to make it better, I want to make up for what I've done."

I want so badly to reach out and pull him close, but I tell myself that he needs to make the first move so I'll know for sure that he still wants me even after being with that other woman.

Tears fill his eyes and it's like he was reading my mind again, "I haven't been loyal to you, Rachel. I hate to tell you this now, but I have to tell you because its eating me alive." His voice holds desperation and remorse, and my heart seems to pound faster and faster as tears fill my own eyes. "You deserve so much more than a man like me, but yet you've stayed with me this whole time, and I cannot and never will understand why." He grabs my free hand while my other hand holds my towel up. "I'm begging you to forgive me for the man I've become, and for the mistakes I've made."

I let my fears go. "I forgive you, Lane." Is all I can say, and suddenly I'm in his arms and his lips are against mine. It's like an electric shock rushes through me and I gasp for air when we break the kiss, but yet I kiss him right back not wanting the feeling to fade. He pulls me against him. There's a urgency in his kiss; a feeling that he's almost afraid to let me go at the risk of losing me again, but that will never happen. My guard and walls fall as he picks me up and carries me away.

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If she only knew...