The Distance Between Us

4

Lane

I go into work the next day trying to finish something at the desk, but I'm so distracted that I can't even think straight. I tell Lacey to hold all my calls, and she asks several times what's wrong, but I stay in my office and tell her that I'm fine.

At one point I lock my door and begin crying silently. I've feared losing my family, but I've already lost them. How could I have not noticed this before? I feel so stuck and I'm not sure how to get out of this situation. I can't just leave my job, but I can't just leave my family in pieces. I don't know how to fix this.

I wish I could call someone to talk too, but I haven't talked with my friends in years. I guess I shut them out at the same time I did my family. Still, I need to talk to someone, and I feel too guilty about talking to Lacey. So I dig through my desk, and find Andy's number.

Andy and I grew up together and even got married in the same year. We used to be best friends, but I changed all that. I dial the number hoping that he'll answer, and maybe talk with me.

"Hello," His voice rumbles over the phone.

It takes me a minute to get something out since I haven't talked with him in five years. He's about to hang up, when I finally say the first thing that comes to mind. "Hi."

He pauses. "Who is this?"

I clear my throat. "Andy, this is Lane."

There's a long pause, and at one point I think he's hung up, but he finally replies. "Lane Quick?" He asks.

"Yeah, its me."

"Is there something wrong?" His voice holds panic, and I'm grateful that he would care enough to ask.

"No-well-yeah-maybe," I sigh feeling stupid. "Listen, I know I haven't spoken to you in years, but I really need to talk and I couldn't think of anyone else to call."

It takes him a moment to answer. "Okay, hold on a second."

I hear him tell someone he'll be back, and then a few doors shut in the background before his voice comes back to the phone. "Okay, I'm listening."

I decide to just get everything out in the open. "First, I want to apologize. I had no reason to shut you and your family out, and I'm sorry for how rude and selfish I've been."

His tone changes in a way that helps me relax. "Well, that's okay. You know I always ask about you when Rachel and the kids come over."

It takes me a minute to take that in. "They come over to your house?"

"Yeah, Amanda and Rachel have never lost touch, and the kids enjoy playing together, so we'll have play dates sometimes."

I put pressure on my temple feeling a headache coming on. I've really missed everything. "I'm glad yall can do that." I mumble.

"You didn't know that they come over here, did you?" His voice holds disappointment, and I suddenly feel like a child being scolded by their dad.

I sigh. "No. I've realized in the past day that I don't know a lot of things."

"Spill your guts, man. I got all day."

I smile, and begin to tell him about the fight Rachel and I had last night, and about everything I've been missing. I tell him how I'm feeling and I even mention Lacey; telling him that I've been growing attached to her without even realizing it. At the end of it all, over an hour has passed, and Andy is deep in thought.

"Do you want my advice?" He asks.

I hesitate before saying yes.

He clears his throat. "Okay, first. You have to stop hanging around that Lacey girl. It may just be an innocent thing now, but I'm telling you man, if you keep talking like that and things get worse at home, you'll go straight to her and everything will go up in flames a lot faster than you think."