Larue brie Sanchez-(soon to be) Holland was a small town girl, living in a lonely world... she took the midnight train to the endgame premiere
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Tom Holland was a city boy, born and raised in south London... he took the midnight limo to the endgame...
After what seems like hours, i hear window break in the distance, Gavin is startled by it and runs away. Leaving me unguarded, oh no! I hope he comes back, I don't want the intruder to kill me or something. I try to wiggle my hands free but they won't budge, so i just start accepting my fate of death
The mysterious black clothed figure moves closer and pulls off his ski mask, its Tom! He smiles and the light reflects off his perfectly white teeth
"That's the tea sis" he says, pulling a Teavana iced tea from Starbucks out of his pocket and slurping it dry. I giggle and wink
Just then, the door creaks open and Larue busts in, wearing a wedding dress and diamond encrusted 12 inch heels. She refreshes her lipstick and puckers "Tommy! I knew you'd be back for me! Now, our wedding arrangements are set!" she yells, she claps her hands together and Gavin comes out from behind a stack of sacks of flower and wraps his arms around Tom, restricting his movement
Then another guard that ive never seen before, come from the other stack of sacks of flower and grabs my wrist, pulling me back into a cat Kennel
Tom watches as the guard stuff me into the kennel "No!" he yells, bringing sexy back. He scissor kicks gavin in the face, does a black widow whip around and throws a sack of flower at the guard. He holds the flour above his head, his muscles bulging. I day dream of Peeta Mellark, throwing a sack of flour onto the table of the bakery
He unlocks the cat kennel and grabs my hand "'let's get out of here" I nod. His eyes twinkle. Just then, Zendaya busts through the skylight, holding her cat. Nick Jonas drops down right behind her but his harness gets caught in the ropes and he gets tied up like a spider in a web of extra sticky hot sauce
"Daya'' What are you doing here?!" Tom yells, she sighs "i wanted to help fight, looks like it's taken care of though" just as she said that, bridezilla busts through the pile of wood on the ground and grabs Tom's ankle, pulling him back to the altar
"Seize her!" Zendaya yells to Nick, but he's tangled up in the ropes "i've got reinforcements" he says, looking intensely into space and slipping on a pair of black shades that say 'team' on the left lens and 'Z' on the right lens
Then he fishes a radio thingy out of his pocket, meanwhile Tom shrieks for help, so much for bringing sexy back i guess. While Larue covers his mouth and wrists in duct tape, the three of us sit around waiting for Nick Jonas to radio in his 'back-up'
After about 15 minutes, another skylight is broken and a man with giant muscles, daring eyebrows and an intense smolder, lands perfectly, crushing the cement beneath him. He looks up cracks his knuckles "OMG OMG DUWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON!!!" I scream, running towards him, I jump into his arms and stared into his dreamy eyes "my hero" i can hear Tom making an offended squeak in the distance
So I jump out of the rocks arms, as soon as i do, a small baby man jumps off his back "Kevin Hart? What are you doing here?" "well freaking Nick 'mommy's boy' Jonas over there convinced this huge idot to come rescue some Tom Holland dude, and he made me come too. And ride on his back" he says annoyed, then he turns to Duwayne rock Johnson and angrily yells "and this blubbering idiot made my ride on his back. Do I look like a cowboy to you DJ, do i?! Cause you certainly look like a cow. And why do i have to wear this stupid hat?!" he angrily kicks a stack of hay then jumps around holding his foot because he has weak bones
Nick figures out how to unlatch himself and falls on his face, then scrambles up and runs to Duwayne the rock Johnson "Duwayne the rock Johnson, heyyyy. Thanks for coming man" he says, giving him a 'bro hug' "my pleasure, I keep hearing about Tom but i've never actually met the young man..." then he leans in and whispers "hey thanks for setting something up ive been dying to meet him im his number one fan- OWCH!" he yells, Nick Jonas jumps backwards and his ear starts bleeding
Duwayne looks behind him to see Kevin standing there angrily holding another sack of flour "Kevin what the frick!" Duwayne the rock Johnson yells "oh Nick, our welcome for being here also! My gosh i ought to shove you both in my grandmas dryer, it catches fire when there's too much mineral in it... hehe see what I did there? Dwayne the ROCK Johnson? No? Whatever" he whines, kicking the hay again
"So where's this Tom Holland i keep hearing about?" Nick points over to the altar where tom has now been put in a tux, and a priest is there. Suddenly i feel strong arms wrap around me and look up "Gavin? Dang it i thought you were Duwayne the rock Johnson" he looks offended but carries me over to the altar
Larue gets up on one of the pews and points a gun at my head, the priest nervously asks do you take so and so on... I look and see his ankle is shackled to the wall "Thomas Stanley Holland do you take Larue Brie Sanchez as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sicknessandinhealthforaslongasyoubothshalllive?" he asks quickly, trying to get it over with
Larue cocks the gun and stares at Tom "well, DO YOU Tommy?" I have to do something! "No Tom! Please you don't have to do this,. Let her kill me, it's better than her marrying you" i cry dramatically, dropping to my knees. Tom looks down "im sorry Myranda" he says, i'm waiting for Larue to shoot me but instead he says "I do" the priest looks surprised and so does Larue, she then points the gun at the priest "hurry up, i wanna kiss him"
"Larue Bri Sanchez soon-to-be Holland, do you take Thomas Stanley Holland to be your lawfully wedded husband to hav-" "I DO!" she screams "SAY IT" she screams again "uhh uhh you may now kiss the- husband?" Larue rips the tape off his lips and he screams in pain, then she kisses him, but he's duct taped to a dolly and the dolly falls over "Gavin! Bring my husband to the marital suite of you please"
He nods and releases me. As soon as Gavin leaves, Larue gets thrown to the ground, it all happened so fast, I look over to see Kevin and Larue crashed into a stack of crates, I look back and see Duwayne the rock Johnson showing off his muscles and high-fiving Nick
Then he runs over and lifts kevin off Larue. He watches as both Kevin and Larue kick and scream angrily "you are the worst human being that has ever lived!" Kevin yells "what kind of person throws a person at another person?!" he punches Duwayne the rock Johnson in the jaw and it doesn't even phase him
A few minutes later, the S.W.A.T team busts in, taking Larue by the arms and pulling her into the helicopter Nick Jonas throws his hands out "w-w-wait! Myranda could you get a picture of all of us with her tied uP?" I nod and he tosses me his phone
"Everyone say, that's the tea sis" "THAT'S THE TEA SIS" Nick, Kevin, Zendaya and Duwayne the rock Johnson yell in unison
I give Nick his phone back. He posts it on instagram;
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Had a great time taking down @tomswife.Larue with @therock @zendaya @kevinhart4real @myranda_schlaman #besthairawardgoesto @tomholland2013 #goodtimesgoodpeople #juminjicostars #wheresjack #criminalpic .... Dont forget #lastyearwascpmplicated out now!
Just then, Jack Black walks in with a taco "Nick i thought you said Tom Holland was here?" "he is, we just took down his evil falke wife who tried to marry him by duct taping him to a dolly" Jack just blinks rapidly and takes another bit of his taco
Then it dawns on Duwayne the rock Johnson "oops! Gavin brought Tom upstairs!" He yells... oh yeah! I forgot that my love is upstairs
