The first Luna (On hold)

Part 24 - Monstrous

Elenas POV

I could feel the anger pulsating through me, the pure need to see some kind of blood. Inflict any pain. It was one thing to disrespect me, but to threaten me, and my family. I was blinded by rage, I watch as terror consumed her being, the burns of the chains engraving scas to her wrists. It wasn't enough, nothing was enough. I needed more, I needed her to feel the pain she inflicted. I was done pretending, I was done with the weak punches, I was done denying what was truly inside of me. Collins powers were not the only thing passed on to me, so was his anger. The rage he felt at all moments. I could feel the heat in my veins. The way my heart beat pounded against my chest. I expected it to be fast, rapid and inconsistent. But it was calm, quiet. Hurting her didn't cause anything of glee to my mind. I Felt good to feel her blood spatter against my skin, to feel my claws dug into her skin. I couldn't hear her screams. Everything was blurred, as if I was getting dragged into the depths of a deep ocean by the most monstrous thing alive. Slowly suffocating against the pressure. I wanted to hear her scream. I was eager to see the light leave her eyes. The rest of the room didn't matter. Just this. This rush of anger and aggression. It felt so good. I hated her, more than anything in thisGod awful world. More than Colin, more than my parents, more than anything. Except myself. In this moment. The moment where my hearing became clear again. I could hear her, choking on her own blood. Not screaming, but whimpering in pain. I could hear people begging me to stop. Time seemed to slow. I saw the horrified expression on Emmetts face. Elizabeth's eyes, the light was just barely there. Like a match burning the last of its fuel. In that moment, that moment right there, I knew it was time to stop. I had done enough damage. I backed up from her body. Or what was left of it. Pressing myself against the opposite wall. I realized what I had done. Her arms, legs, and face completely mutilated. Blood coming from every exit, her nose, her ears, even her eyes. My hands, coated in blood, my clothes ripped to shreds. My belly. A gasp left my lips the second I saw my belly. Covered in blood, throbbing and in pain. I could feel a deep ache in my stomach. I couldn't get up, my senses now back to normal. I regained the swelling in my feet, the ache in my ankles, and the pain in my chest. How long had it been since this morning. Since Liz had come. Since I first found out that Elizabeth was a rat. How long had I been mutilating her. I look up to look at my mate. A horrid expression is written in his face. I have never seen so much fear in someones eyes. He walks to be cautiously,
    "Elena, are you okay?" he asked, his voice cracking. I can see the tears forming in his eyes. I know what he's feeling, hsi wolf howls for his changed connection. Alex feels the pain I have inflicted onto her. I have hurt him just as much as I have her.  All I can do is nod.

1 week later..

My hands are still a tinted pink. I am bed ridden, turns out elizabeth had gotten a hit in. My left leg was sliced at the back of my knee. I was unable to walk, but it didn't matter. Emmett couldn't look at me. I was left in a room for a week. Kyle brings me my food. My water. The pack doctor checks up on me. Touching me with the fragility of a million feathers. Everyone is scared of me. After what I did I don't blame them. Elizabeth is in the hospital. Paralyzed, practically brain dead, and in pain. Her face is completely torn apart, I couldn't even recognize her when I tried to visit. I feel the pain in emmetts heart. Everynight I know he riddled with nightmares. He doesn't sleep anymore. It's obvious in the bags of his eyes. Santiago left a few days after the incident. I was alone. Even Liz was terrified of me. I was scared of myself. I don't even remember some moments of what happened. Bits and pieces chew into my memory, keeping my awake, and haunting my thoughts. I had to make this better. I knew I did, but would it even make a difference?

2 weeks later....

The baby is due in 3 days. No sign of emmett. He left the pack a week and a half ago. Right after Elizabeth died in her sleep. She was gone, and so was a part of my mate. Kyle has taken over the duties of an alpha. I have yet to leave my room. I eat less and less everyday. The weight of this guilt pushing me lower and lower into a hole I have dug myself. I have given up contact with everyone. I have closed myself off. My baby will be here soon, and I will be a horrible mother. I will be alone. All I can do is sleep.

The dreams are the worst. The dreams scare me to my core. My father, laughing at me, a loud cackle that resonates in my soul. He is proud of me, for finally becoming just like him. I don't want to be the monster he wanted me to be. The monster I was born to be. I will fix this. I know I will. When I do, All will be right in the world, my baby will be safe with her father. My mate will be happy and run this pack they way it deserves to be run. Although the one idea that torments me. Will I be there to experience it?

Word count : 1009
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