Silent Life

2- Age: 13 years old

2- Age: 13 years old ll Louis Tomlinson 

It's been five years since I have said a single word. I haven't spoken to anybody, and I don't plan on it. Sitting in the darkness of my room, I think about everything I could be doing right now, with my mum. Having the time of our lives and possibly helping me with relationships. I have lived with Lizzie ever since that day, and I don't even talk to her. I talk to Noone and I don't plan on it.

"Louis, can you come out of your room for a few minutes to ear dinner?" She asked.

I have a sign outside my room that lights up yes or no when I get asked a question by her. I walled over to the wall and flipped the switch to no. I heard a sigh escape her lips and then the small padding of her feet walking away. I sighed as well and walked back over to my bed, plopping myself down on it, and it planning to move a muscle. I began to think to myself, slowly understanding what today was. It was five years today since my mother died, and I am supposed to go see her.

I got out of bed and walked over to the door, slinging it open softly, then closing it behind me. Walking downstairs, I see Lizzie sitting at the table eating by herself with a few tears running down her cheeks. The letter that I give to her every year on this day, letting her know that I am going to see my mother. She nodded her head, handing me her keys and kissing my cheek.

"But, when you come back I want you to eat young man." She says pointing a finger at me.

I nod at her, opening and closing the door. I walk over to the car and open the door to it, not yet getting in. I look around the neighborhood and see that there was nothing out of the ordinary. Slightly smiling to myself, I look inside the car and slide in. Closing the door softly, I pull the sun viser down and see a picture of my mother just sitting there. I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes, and my lip begin to quiver. I begin to think to myself, not talking afriad if I do, I will just completly loose it. 

I miss you mum. There isn't a day that goes by that I haven't thought about you, not an hour, not a minute, not even a second that you don't cross my mind. I miss you mum, and it's just so hard out here. I can't do anything without you, because you used to help me with everything, and now you are gone. I bet you don't even know that I almost had my first girlfriend until she found out I can't talk, or more like I refuse to, so she left because she wanted to be complimented with words and not just presents. So stupid. 

Mum, I started school a few weeks ago. At first Lizzie thought I should just be homeschooled, but after a few years in school she thinks that I should go to actual school now. I like my school, it's nice as well as the people. But the cirriculum is what I don't understand. SPecially maths. Mum, you were a math freak, why aren't you here helping me? I need your help mum, not just with maths either. With life the most. Lizzie, she's trying, but I just want you back. 

I thought to myself. I sighed and breathed in deeply, letting it out and turning on the car. Today was the day for five years, that I have been going to visit my mother. I wasn't going to stop now. Yeah, I'm thirteen taking Lizzie's car and driving it to the other side of town. I have been doing this for about three and a half years and I havent' gotten caught yet, so I just do it until whatever. 

Driving down the street thinking about when I was younger when my mum and I would go to the park all the time and she would push me on the swings and she would slide down the slide with me. We just had the time of our lives, and then we would get icecream and chill out for a few. 

 Flashback

"Faster mummy, faster!" I yell as I laugh while my mummy pushed me. 

"Alright sweetheart, we can go faster." she laughed as she pushed me faster or as fast as she could. 

"Weeee!" I cheered as I went higher and faster. 

"Mummy look at me! I'm flying!" I yell as I get highter and higher. 

"I see baby! Look over here and say cheese okay?" she says as she holds up the camera. 

We take pictures at the park all the time, and we just play forever. I smile and she takes the picture and then I slow myself down, coming to a stop and hopping off. After a while we would go down the slide over and over again and then get icecream, and chill on the grass close to the car. Sit there for hours on end, and just look at the stars until I fell asleep on her chest, then she would pick me up and take me home. 

End Flashback

I finally got to her grave and saw that there were more flowers than usual. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked closer to it and see that there was a note there. I picked it up and read it furrowing my eyebrows even more. But then I just folded it up and placed it in my pocket not being able to read it anymore, and saved it for later. I came here for one thing, and that thing, was to talk to my mother. Again, I just couldn't actualy speak, so I just sent all my thoughts to her. 

Hey mum. How are you? You're doing well? That's good. Listen. I don't think I am cut out for this kind of thing. YOu know the 'I don't have a parent so I lived with my babysitter' kind of thing. It's cool, not as awkward as I thought it would be, but you know, it is awkward none the less. I can't understand why someone would do this to you. I mean, what did you ever do to anyone? You were the nicest person that I know, and I don't understand why everyone is so, not caring about this.

But onto another note. Lizzie tried to get me to talk again, but I don't want to talk. I'm fine with being silent, I'm fine with not making conversation. I'm fine with not talking to anyone, I'm fine with talking to just you, and you alone. Oh look, I'm blushing. Joy. Sarcasm mum, but here's another thing, I think I want to move out, like right now.

I know I'm thirteen, and I'm not of age to move out but I want to. I want to move out and live on my own and just do things my way. I can't understand living under someones roof that isn't yours, and listening to their rules. Dad left before I was even born, like the minute after I was conceived, I seemed to find out by a diary of yours I found. By the way I apologize for reading, but I barely know anything about you mum. I need to know more. But at the last page in the book, it cuts off in the middle of the word. What does that mean mum? I need go know.

After I decided that I had enough of talking to mum today, I got up and pressed a kiss to her head stone and walked away, blowing another kiss to her and finally leaving. I got in the car and slowly drove away back to the house, managing to not get caught by the police again. Going in the house, I see Lizzie asleep on the couch. I walk over to her and grab her in my arms, shutting the telly off, and turning off the light, taking her upstairs and placing her in her bed, placing a kiss to her forehead and walking out, shutting off the light as well and closing the door.

I sighed and walked to my room, opening the door and closing it behind me, and sliding my shirt off, my pants as well. Before getting into my pajamas and things, I finally get ready to go to bed. Before I get in bed, I walk over to the lap in the corner of my room and shutting it off. Getting interrupted, my foot steps on something rough. I pick it up and see that it's the paper that I found earlier. I read it, folded up, seeing the front of it in bold black letters:

THE FINAL PAGE TO MY DIARY, THE FINAL PAGE TO MY LIFE. JAY TOMLINSON.

___________

So heres chapter two, and it was being made all day because of distractions, and the 1D livestream, which I am slightly disappointed about. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and I am sorry about taking all day. The next update should be late this week. Possibly Wednesday, but not thursday becusse I am supposed to be getting a job. But I do hope u enjoy. Thanks guys!