shotgun.

(chapter 20)

                                                                                        (4 hours later)

        Hey Kas wake up. ~She mumbles~ KAS WAKE THE FUCK UP! "WHAT WHY HOLY SHIT I PISSED MYSELF!" ewwwww.... in the tent, cmo'n have some goddamn respect! "I'M SO SORRY, DONT DO  THAT AGAIN PLEASE!!  I GOTTA PEE NOW!!!!"  hey uh Kas... "Yeah??" there is a spider on your vagina.  "WHAT! NO! HOW?! AHH IMA PEE ON IT AND HOPE IT DOSENT BITE ME!" ~she runs out of the tent screaming as her pants are falling down~  best goddamn way to wake someone up.  "RAYNE, ITS ON MY BOOB!!!!!! GET IT OFF OF MEEEE!" ~she runs inside the tent naked with a spider crawling on ,her upper chest~ Can i shoot it off?? Well,  this is going to be awkward, ~you brush it off of her and kill it as it hits the ground~

        Do you want clothes?? Cause its like -10 outside and your naked.  And that seems uncomfortable.  ~you try not to stare at her full body so you blush and put your head to the ground looking at the squashed spider~ "Awe is Rayne a little warm and fuzzy inside??" ~She pokes your nose~ Dont do that!!!  Get some clothes on. ~you toss a cold weather suit at her~ Jesus you women and your diverting tactics.

        "But but but I still have to repay you... ~she says in a sexual high pitched tone~"  You did last night when you kissed me you sneaky litlle cacti. "A cacti??????"  Yes.  A cacti.  Ima pee now, you keep your cold little butt in here.  "but but but............I wann-" no. you do not wanna do anything. You stay here. ~points to the mat~ I go there. ~points outside~ Ill be back.

        ~mumbling~ Can't my penis be normal in a post apocalyptic world, god damn women and their sexual inuendos. ~unzips pants~ HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD OUT HERE!  shit shit shit shit, pee faster damnit! ~runs back to the tent~ Kas im cold!! ~jumps into her arms~ your warm.....and naked. again. WHY!!?? "well... It's kinda cozy in here....... and your pretty hot (wha???) soo I thought maybe you know......"  Well.  I just pissed.  And I learned how fucking cold it is.  And my dick would freeze and probably break off, yeah,  not fun.

 "but if we did things it would be warm............ and you want to be warm......sooo......maybeeeee?????"  When we find the base yes, but currently im half naked, and its -10 out.  Soooooooo. not right now. "wha-what kinda fun is that??"  It isn't as a matter of fact its fucking torture.  Still.  I think my dick is frostbit. "noooo! i mean uhhhh........"  Just stop right there you manipulating little cacti,  When we find the base, we will, and I promise, we will do what you want because im lazy and can't make up decisions.  "fine........promise???? ~high pitched tone~ Yes. I promise.

        Damn shes hot.  Rayne stop being a fuckup and just do her already. So, uhhhhh......where did your family originate from?? Dipshit dont say that!! I mean where did you grow up?? "Well.....I dont really remember......." Ah, I dont either.  I remeber the trips to Canada, thats why i came here,  to see if I remember any thing,  after the world went to shit I just kinda forgot everything.  "Awe, that must suck......I'm sorry......"  ~you laugh~ Hey it's fine, dont sweat it.