Star

Day Five

It's a Monday. A boring Monday. I couldn't decide if I should stay home or go to school. So many people would stare. I deserve that shame after all.
I walked to school, it was only a few blocks down. Even tho there was only ten people I feel hundred eyes starring at me. I few people laughed then whispered. When the building got full it soon grew silent. Jocks stared nerds stare even my own friends stared. Even Stef. I was heartbroken. I wanted to stop moving. To stop breathing. My eyes got blurry, as tears streamed down my face. Damn I'm making a fool out of myself. In my blurred vision I see Chad and right next to him Star. She kissed him. I didn't feel anything, I deserve it. He got closer and whispered

"Are you sadddddd sidy boy?"

Something in me told me to punch him. To tell him that Star has feelings for me and not some jockey that's on steroids. So I did. As blurred my vision was, I pounded him. But he didn't do anything, in fact he sat there and smiled. But I knew Star was going to do something. With he high heels she close almost like she was going to kiss me and then WAM. Right in the nose. But I didn't feel pain. What really hurt me is what she said.

"Oh boy! Is this fag gonna cry. Use some fondation would you. You're nothing but a fag you hear me 'F-A-G! A faggggggg. Huh what makes you think I would want to be with you sidy boy?"

Everyone was laughing. Everyone but me. How could the love of my life be so cruel, fuck that how could the girl who KISSED ME say that. In fact I bet she is a loser who swallowed up all her emotions just so daddy can buy his princess a new doll. Fuck that. I pushed her to the floor and I yelled to everyone that was surrounding us.

"Oh but I'm the fag? You kissed me remember that?! I pulled away and you pulled me in for another kiss!! DONT SIT HERE AND CALL ME A FAG WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU AND CHAD AND KISS ME ASS YOU HEAR ME!! I LOVED YOU AND YOU DO THIS. FUCK YOU!!"

What I did next was also out of petty but I refuse to let myself feel bad.

"I- I'm sorry Sid really I-"
I punched Star right in the face. She was out cold after that. I got off of her and walked home.
The school called a couple of times, threatening to suspend me. I don't give a shit. I got high. And I consider running away. It wasn't a bright idea but I can't help to think life would be better somewhere else. Maybe France, my French isn't great but it's somewhat good. Or maybe Canada! I could start new. Forget about Star. Forget the damage she did to me. Forget everything.