SHADES OF LOVE

CHAPTER 12

Engaged.

As your stomach twisted with jealousy and sick fear, it struck you that you'd assumed Ignazio had never had a serious romantic relationship before you. Stupid.  As hot as he was, you should've known better.

Magdalena touched your shoulder. "You should sit down, (Y/N). You're very pale."

You knew you were breathing too fast and your speeding pulse rate was dangerously high. "You're right."

Moving to the nearest available chair, you got off your feet. Magdalena sat beside you.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you the first time we met," she said.

"You love him, too," you replied woodenly, your gaze unfocused.

"Doesn't excuse me, does it?"

You gratefully accepted another glass of champagne when it was offered to you and took a second for Magdalena before the waiter straightened to move on. 

You wanted to leave. You wanted to get up and walk out. You wanted Ignazio to realize you'd left. You wanted him to be forced to leave after you—even though you knew damn well he couldn't. You wanted him to feel some of the pain you felt. Stupid, immature, hurtful imaginings that made you feel small.

Oddly, you took comfort from Magdalena sitting silently beside you in commiseration. She clearly knew how it felt to love Ignazio and want him too much. That you sensed she was as miserable as you were confirmed what a threat Camilla might be.

Had he been pining for her this whole time? Was she the reason he'd closed himself off from other women?

"There you are."

You looked up as Ignazio found you. Of course Camilla was still on his arm and you got the full effect of the two of them as a couple. They were, quite simply, impossibly gorgeous together.

Camilla took a seat beside you and Ignazio brushed his fingertips over your cheek. "I have to speak with someone real quickly," he said to you. "Would you like me to bring you back anything?"

"Stoli and cranberry. Make it a double." You needed a buzz. Bad.

"All right." But he frowned at your request before he walked away.

"I'm so glad to meet you, (Y/N)," Camilla said. "Ignazio has told me so much about you."

"It can't have been too much. You two weren't gone that long."

"We talk nearly every day." She smiled, and there was nothing fake or malicious in her expression. "We've been friends a long time."

"More than friends," Magdalena said pointedly.

Camilla frowned at Magdalena and you realized you weren't supposed to know. Was it she or Ignazio or both of them that had decided it was best not to tell you? Why cover up something if there was nothing to hide?

"Yes, that's true," she admitted with obvious reluctance. "Although that was some years ago now."

You twisted in your seat to face her. "You still love him."

"You can't blame me for that. Any woman who spends time with him falls in love with him. He's mysterious, attractive and untouchable. That's an irresistible combination." Her smile softened. "He tells me you've inspired him to start opening up and to write songs again. I'm grateful to you for that."

You were about to say, 'I didn't do it for you'.  Then an insidious doubt drifted through your mind, making a vulnerable spot inside you fold in on itself.