Bruh man vs the very, scary giant POTATO

Meet bruh man

Helloo. My name is Bruh man. No, I'm not a superhero. I'm just a normal dude wearing thermal underwear and a green blanket on my back. Right now I'm in a pickle. No literally. I'm in a giant pickle. It just picked me up and swallowed me whole. I don't know what I'm gonna do, because, you know, I'm just a guy in a thermal underwear jumpsuit.
As I'm sitting there in that pickle I realized I could only do one thing: try to crawl though it and bite it's delicious heart. So as I'm crawling through the pickle I realized that I'm probably about to save this city, which means I will be a hero! Once I finally reach the heart, (which took about 30 minutes) I'm about too lunge forward to bite the green, salty, heart, the pickle falls over. I'm wondering what just happened and I realized it just tripped over a car. Maybe. Then the inside of the pickle starts to warm up. I'm wondering if it just got REALLY hot outside. I was wrong because the pickle got cut into two. And I fell out of it. I looked up and I saw a flying figure. It was Captain Wow. He was gazing down at me probably wondering: why is that kid wearing a thermal underwear jumpsuit? Then he says:
"People of Happyville city, that stupid pickle is dead."
Everyone starts cheering. Except for me, I'm sitting there looking at this guy who stole my thunder. When this show-off is done giving autographs he walks over to me and asked me two questions.
"Kid, what where you doing in that thing" I feel like I was asked the most dumbest question ever.
Then he asked me another question. "And what are you doing in that costume?" I just stare at him. "Answer me!"
" Okay! Okay. First of all I was EATEN BY IT! DUH! And I'm wearing this because I wanna be a superhero. " I mumbled that last bit.
"What kid? I didn't hear you."
"I'M WEARING THIS BECAUSE I WANNA BE A SUPERHERO!" (Whoops. I think everyone heard that.)
"Kid, everyone heard that," (called it)
"But, you can't kid. You can't just become a superhero. You need training (and mental help.). "
Yeah, I heard that last part. People always say that to me.
"Just go home kid. Go home." So I did. Walked the eight blocks back to my house, took off my clothes, and put on my pjs. That's when I realized I was eating chocolate Easter bunnies while I  watch cats jump off beds into mirrors while crying. Which is sad. And please, don't ask why.