Bruh man vs the very, scary giant POTATO

another day, another nightmare.

So, school was a nightmare, as usual. people were laughing at me. And by people, I mean EVERYONE, including the teachers. I knew those guys were jerks. They probably saw me on the news last night talking to Captain Wow. And then in sixth period it hit me. No something literally hit me. It was my "pal" John. He just threw a trash can at me.
" Hey, buddy! How's life treating  you? "
"Eh. It's ok. Not tell you came and threw a trash can at me. Also you should get plastic surgery. Your face is so dumb I'm losing brain cells."
" oh you little -! " I ran. But this huge, buff jock came running after me. And, of course, he got me. By the UNDERWEAR. He started to spin me around and around and around. And tossed me five feet in the air like I was a football. He stared at me. Which looked like his eyes where going to bulge out of his brainless head. He looked like he wanted more, so I ran away back to my apartment. When I got there (which took thirty three minutes), I went to my apartment opened the door and went to my living room. I Sat down  on my deluxe couch, (Phhss. I WISH.) And watched The Amazing World Of Gumball. Once adult swim came on, I changed the channel. (Because, don't judge me, Rick And Morty isn't my type.) I turned on the news and said there was probably going to be another monster attack. Great. Another one.
Oh, right now your probably thinking bruh man? What do you mean another one?? How much where there WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!? Well, let me explain.